


Forever and Always

by Rossie_H



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Assault, Azumane Asahi-centric, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Broken Bones, Bruises, Child Abuse, Clubbing, Complicated Relationships, Declarations Of Love, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Drunkenness, Dysfunctional Family, Fighting, Fights, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt Noya, Kissing, Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Injuries, POV Alternating, POV Nishinoya Yuu, Protectiveness, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Timelines, True Love, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Weddings, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 16:20:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10666344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rossie_H/pseuds/Rossie_H
Summary: Noya and Asahi we together for five years. Then suddenly, Asahi ended everything and moved to America.Now, six months later, he comes back...only to confess that he's getting married. To a Woman.What happened during those six months? Why did Asahi end everything with Noya?And how will Noya handle being best man for the man he loves?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So obviously this is a Noya and Asahi based story but everyone makes their own appearances in the piece as well!  
> I'm going to update this as much as I can but I'm also trying to finish up Overseas so...please be patient!  
> I put a timeline at the notes at the bottom to help clear up some stuff if you wanna check that out! 
> 
> Thanks for giving this piece a chance, it's a little different for me! <3  
> Love you guys!

I can't believe I'm standing here. After everything, after all that's happened. 

But alas, here I am...standing here as I watch her take those hands of his, the ones that made _me_ come only a week ago, and say the words that will make him hers forever. Here I stand as I watch the man I've been in love with since high school marry another person. A woman who will never know who he truly is or what his body really craves. A person who will never understand the way his mind works or the way he views the world around him.

A person who will never have the slightest clue about how absolutely beautiful he is. 

But if this is what he wants, if this will make Asahi happy then...I'm happy to stand here, watching as my best friend gets married to someone who will never be me. 

***

**FIVE MONTHS EARLIER**

"Just toss the ball you big, noob," yells Tanaka as Daichi finally serves the ball over the net. As soon as it's in the air, we all jump into action, Hinata quick to claim the ball as his. 

"I got it!" he cries as Tanaka then lines up with the net and receives the toss, pushing the ball to Kageyama who sets it up once more for Hinata. Hinata's leg toss him high into the air as his hand rises and smacks the ball down hard over the net....

Even after all these years, he can still fly.

Suga slides to receive Hinata's toss but is too late as the loud smack of leather connecting sand rings muffled through the park. 

We all cheer as Daichi and the others on his team moan.  

"Who came up with these teams again?" complains Ennoshita.

On my side, it looks like this; Hinata, Tanaka, Kageyama, Ennoshita and I.

On Daichi's team; Asahi, Suga, Tsukki, and Yama. 

"Oh face it," puffs Yama out of breath. "We knew exactly who was going to be where." 

Everyone giggles as we all collapse into the sand, exhausted. 

It's been like this since everyone graduate high school. We meet every week on Sunday afternoons to play volleyball. Every Sunday, playing and laughing and reminiscing. Even though we see each other almost everyday at work, this is our one day off. Our one day to see each other outside of work and just...be ourselves. 

After Daichi and Suga graduated and (finally) tied the knot, they opened a shop.

A bakery and coffee shop to be exact. 

But now...Crows is one of the most popular spots in all of Japan, as now, it served as a bakery and cafe by day and a club and sports bar at night.

This is what happened.

First, they hired Asahi. Then me. 

Then Tanaka and Hinata and Kageyama until _everyone_ had a job and a special place and talent within the bakery and now, the cafe is famous.

People come from all over to experience Crow's; for Suga's cakes, Ennoshita's pies and for Daichi's sandwiches. They comes for Asahi's smoothies and Tsukki and Yama's beer that they sell in the evenings. They come for Kageyama and Hinata's BBQ (American Style, a trick they learned from Kageyama's father) and for Tanaka's D.J abilities. 

And me, I'm the manager. A job I take serious pride in. 

We always knew that even after we graduated that we would never be separated from one another but never in a million years did we ever expect this. I don't think Suga and Daichi did either but we all know that they would never regret a single decision that they made in the past five years and neither do we. 

"I need a shower," growls Kageyama as he leans over and grabs a handful of sand, tossing it in Hinata's face. 

"I'm going to murder you when we get home," he replies. 

"I really do hope you mean murder, and not the other thing. I need sleep tonight," moans Tanaka and we all laugh. 

"You all better get sleep," adds Daichi. "We have a busy week coming up." 

I swallow at his words, my face heating up and my heart dropping into my stomach. 

"You getting nervous yet, Asahi," asks Yama as he leans over and lays his head on Tsukki's chest, Tsukki running his fingers through his fiance's hair. 

"I've _been_ nervous," he chokes as his eyes sheepishly and quickly dart over to mine.

But I look away...

I can hear him sigh.

"I'm just glad you're back, dude," says Tanaka and everyone agrees. 

"Yeah and I can't wait to meet her," says Yama as he sits up and crosses his legs. "She seems great." 

"She's a great girl." 

Hinata chimes in. "Did you sign the lease for your apartment yet?" 

"No, I have to wait until she get's here." 

Kageyama kisses Hinata's head. "You're going to have a ball with that, isn't she an interior designer?" 

Asahi giggles. "Yep." 

"Oh, she's going to wear you out," says Suga and everyone chuckles. 

But not me...I can't. 

I can't imagine her with-

"Noya, you're awfully quiet over there," says Tanaka as he throws the ball in my direction. 

I barely catch it before it hits my face. "S-Sorry, I was just...thinking of what I need to finish tonight." 

Daichi and Suga both sit up. "Everything okay, Noya?" 

Everyone's eyes are on me and I feel my body begin to shiver a bit. 

_Can everyone see how anxious I am?_

_Does everyone know why?_

_Of course everyone knows, it's obvious._

Finally, after I clear the clot from my throat I toss a thumbs up. "Yeah, just more bookwork. Nothing I can't handle." 

"Do you need help, Noya?" 

His voice makes my heart vibrate inside of my chest, my body shaking even more as I feel his eyes pierce over in my direction. 

But I'm hurt and he knows it so I look this way and smile, a smile packed with so many unspoken words. "I'll be fine, Asahi," I say as I jump to my feet and dust off my shorts. "I should head home though. Ennoshita, you have your key?" 

My roommate waves his keys in the air and gives me a half smile. "All good." He turns to Hinata and Tanaka. "We still on for drinks?" 

"We're always on for drinks," jokes Tanaka as he punches Hinata's arm.

"We're coming too," adds in Yama as he drags Tsukki along for the ride (as if Tsukki would ever let Yama out of his sight). 

Hinata turns to his boyfriend. "You coming?" 

"Hell no, I'm going to go enjoy having the apartment to myself for awhile," he winks, kissing Hinata quickly as he stands up, helping Hinata to his feet. He then hugs Asahi. "glad to have you home, big guy."

"Glad to be home."

"Daichi and I are gonna head home too. Asahi, see you later?" says Suga, hugging Daichi's waist. 

"Got it," he says with a small wave, his eyes glued to my every move as I walk over to the bench and start to pack up my stuff. 

"Remember, Annabelle is coming tomorrow with her family to taste food for the wedding, so be there early, got it? Don't drink too much," Daichi orders as the guys all wave and agree then say their goodbyes as they head out of the park. 

Ennoshita grabs my shoulder, his eyes filled with worry and love. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" 

I just nod, watching as he walks off to join the others. 

Then...it's just me and Asahi. Standing under the fading lights of the park. 

Every muscle in my body is crying out for him...begging for his hands to touch my body, just as they used to. 

Begging for him to-

"Noya," his soft voice breaks through my wall.

I don't turn to face him. I-I can't. 

"Noya, please look at me-" 

"No." 

I hear his breath catch. "Noya...I'm sorry, please just-" 

"I know," I say tossing my bag over my shoulder. 

"H-How long are you going to give me the silent treatment?"

My eyebrows lift. Now I'm angry. 

"You're unbelievable." I face him, hands curled. "This isn't the silent treatment, Asahi. This is me hurt and pissed. This is me...horribly confused. I-I don't know what I did-" 

"You didn't do anything-"

"No? Because six months ago, we were still dating, Asahi! Six months ago, you lived here, with me, in Japan in _our apartment_! Not _America_. You still..." I wipe away the escaped tear that falls from my eye. "You still loved _me_ six months ago. Not Annabelle." 

"I don't lo-" he stops and closes his eyes. "Please. Noya, you don't understand. If you will just let me explain!" 

"Explain what!? Explain why you left me!" I yell, startling even myself, pissed at myself as I watch him flinch. God, I hate seeing him in pain. "Explain how...we were together for five _fucking_ years and then suddenly...you end it. And then six months later, you come back just to announce that you're getting married? To a _woman_?"

Tears fall from his eyes and I look away. "Noya..." 

"Everyone else might be acting like this is normal. But I'm not everyone else. And it's not normal and it sucks." 

I look down at my feet and grip onto the strap of my gym bag. 

His feet come into view as he stands only inches in front of me and I sigh. His smell washes over me like a wave, the smell of coconut and honey making me dizzy as I sway on my feet, desperate for his touch, his warmth. Then...his hand slides up my arm...up to my neck....up to my cheek and my eyes flutter from his touch, his skin cool and damp, my body and my cock reacting and leaning into him out of familiarity. 

"Let me explain, baby." 

My eyes snap open at that as I jump back and smack his hand away. 

He stands in front of me shocked and red faced, his eyes wet. "Do not touch me." 

I bite my lip as he starts to tear up more before I turn and sprint from the park, running all the way until I reach my apartment, crying myself to sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya meets Annabelle. And it's painful.

The next day at the restaurant is torture. 

Annabelle is the image of literal perfection. She's beautiful in the way that most people aren't. You know, like the way you see people portrayed in films? She's bleach blonde (typical American) with eyes are green as the grass that grew at the campsite where Asahi and I first made love. She's tall and thick but toned and talks with an accent that sounds similar to the guys in the westerns that Kageyama likes so much. And damn it, she's sweet. So sweet it's painful and her voice is high pitched and innocent...just like Asahi's and all of this combined makes it really difficult for me to hate her. 

Beside me stands Ennoshita as she makes her way down the line of all of us, introducing herself and giggling. 

He looks over and me and tugs at my fingers. I squeeze them back. "Are you alright?" 

"I'm here, aren't I?" 

"Noya-"

"I'm fine, Shita..."

"But-"

"Hi there!" 

We both snap to stare in her direction, as she stands glancing between the two of us. She's smiling, her eyes tiny and squinted and Ennoshita, of course, is the first to stick out his hand. 

Asahi stands behind her, his eyes locked onto mine and I scoff and look to the floor, feeling Ennoshita slide his foot to touch mine. Just for comfort and in my head, I make a mental reminder to thank him later. 

"And your name is?" she asks. 

"E-Ennoshita!" he says, stuttering and scratching at his head. 

"Nice to meet ya'," she sings then turning those green, grassy eyes my way. "And I know you!" 

Every sound in the room slides to a stop as she directs her attention to me. Everyone's eyes fall to us as the awkwardness of the situation finally settles in with everyone. 

"Oh shit," I hear Tanaka mumble from down the line, where I then hear Tsukki shush him.

I'm frowning, even though I really do try to smile. But all I can feel is Asahi gaping at me with his lips parted (curse those lips) and Daichi and Suga's stares burning a hole in the side of my head. Ennoshita nudges my foot with his own and I snap back to reality. 

I clear my throat and stick out my hand. "Noya."

She giggles again and a small part of me wants to hit her, damnit. Why couldn't she at least be hideous? "I know, I've seen a lot of pictures of you two. Asahi says y'all have been friends for a long time. You have lots of pictures together," she says, turning to face Asahi, running her finger down his chest. 

I want to vomit. 

I want to dissolve to dust and die right here. 

Ennoshita looks at me sideways. 

I scoff. "Yeah, he may be shy but not when it comes to cameras," I say, refusing to look at him, even though his eyes are stuck to mine like honey. 

"I hope we can get to know each other." 

_Please, kill me._

I force a grin. "You got it," I spit. 

She just nods and turns back to Asahi, kissing him on the cheek. His eyes stay on mine as she does this and tears play at the backs of my own. 

"So can I look around?" she asks to no one in particular. 

But Daichi and Suga step up. "Of course, let us take you on a tour," they say, quickly leading her away from us, both of them looking back at me with apologetic eyes. 

When she leaves, a burst of held up air escapes from my lungs and I almost fall over. 

Ennoshita reaches over and holds my shoulders before Asahi can reach out. "You good, Noya?" 

I meet Asahi's eyes then grunt. "I need some air," I say, yanking away as I storm past ASahi, all of the guys and Annabelle's parents with a somewhat polite 'excuse me' and hurry out into the street. 

***

**GRADUATION DAY, FIVE YEARS AGO**

"You look...incredible," I say as he steps out from the bathroom, the tie around his neck snugged tight and lopsided against his chest. He truly looks stunning in his graduation attire, the suit tight but fitting against his broad, meaty chest and the pristine white cotton of his button up makes the brown in his hair pop. He hasn't tied it up yet and...fuck, he looks magical. I swallow my dirty thoughts and walk to him. "But I don't think you will ever be able to master the art of neck ties." 

"Noya, I tried. I-I'm just so nervous, I was shaking the entire time and-"

"Why are you so nervous? It's not like you're the only one walking that stage today!"

"I-I know but...I don't know. This is scary," he says as he pulls away from me and waddles over to his bed, sinking into the mattress with a sigh. I stare at him for a second before joining him. "It's really over. High school is...over."

"It's okay, Asahi. This is normal, everyone graduates!" 

"Yeah but...aren't you worried?" 

I bend a little to meet those gorgeous, chocolate colored eyes of his as they slide up to meet my own. My heart stops when he looks at me, the same effect he's had on me since we first met; this beautiful, timid, perfect man. 

_How can he not see how much I love him?_

I take a chance and place my hand on his leg, his muscles underneath my palm tightening. "Worried about what, Asa?"

He sigh and leans closer to me. "Things will...be different."

"How?"

He bites his lip...driving me absolutely insane, then looks back up at me, his head tilting a bit. "Us."

My skin feels electric as his words sink in. "U-Us?"

"Us."

"W-What about us?"

"I'm going to miss...us."

I smile a little, trying to control my breathing, as he now only sits inches away from me...our lips so close..."Asahi, 'us' isn't going anywhere."

"T-That's not what I mean...I-" he pauses and takes a deep breath, sitting up a little straighter and then-

Before I can comprehend it, Asahi is kissing me. Sweet and gentle and clumsily but...goddamn, it's everything I ever imagined and more. So, so much more. His lips taste exactly as he smells; coconut and honey and as his hands slide up to cup my face, a new kind of heat boils in my stomach as the kiss swells into something deeper. WE don't know what we're doing, obviously, but that doesn't take away from the fact that-Asahi is kissing me.

After three years of flirting and sneaking glances and brushing fingertips, this beautiful God of a man is kissing me as if I was the only other person on earth. Bravely, I start to separate his lips with my tongue and he moans, causing my cock to twitch. I twist then, roping my legs on either side of him as I crawl into his lap, his hands digging into my hips as I drag my fingers through his hair. 

Now I moan. 

God, if he only knew what he did to me.

How he could control me with his every word.

This was our first kiss.

This was everything.

We started dating the next day.  

***

I step out onto the sidewalk wanting to scream. My blood feels as if it's on fire, burning away at the layers of my skin as I pull at my hair in frustration. 

How could he do this to me? Introduce me to her? In front of everyone, in front of him? What a sadistic ass-

I hear the bell of the door open behind me. 

I spin to see him standing there, looking winded, his eyes wide and red. 

I grunt and yell, "NO!" then sprint towards the alleyway next to the building, ignoring his voice calling to me.

I run until I hit the alleyway then slam both fists into the wall, over and over and over again, just hoping I'll bleed. 

I lift both my fists again to slam them against the brick but before I can, his hands wrap around both of my fists, taking hold of me as he spins me around to face him. I lose my footing and stumbling into him, my fave slamming into his chest and my senses being swarmed by his scent. 

"Let me go," I growl against him, as his other hand slides over to wrap around my waist. 

"Noya..."

With my free hand, I try to pry away from him but...my body doesn't give me the effort I need to break free from him. Because it doesn't want to. Because Asahi is home and my body knows it. 

"Stop," I scream as I keep trying to break free. But then..." Stop...just, please. Stop," I beg, tears pricking at my eyes as my legs give out and we both fall to the ground. "Let me go..." 

"I can't. Not when you're like this." 

"I'm like this because of you," I say as I pound my fist into his chest. 

"I know.

"Then why?" 

"Because I love you." 

My world shatters. 

"I love you and I never stopped loving you and I need you to listen to me so I can-" 

"NO!" 

The scream comes out of nowhere as with one final push, I fall away from him, my face soaked by my own tears as I crawl away from him, jumping to my feet. 

He stands too, his eyes wet with tears as well. 

"No," I mumble, my head hung low, "you don't get to say that to me. You...you don't get to fuck with my head anymore!" 

"Noya! Just give me a chance!" 

"How can I?!" I toss my hands up to cover my eyes. "I can't look at you. Or her. Or her _touching you_. I can't watch you love someone else-" 

"Noya, I do-"

"I can't watch you marry her." 

Asahi shifts his weight and leans against the brick wall sniffling. 

"I need you at the wedding." 

I laugh at him, baffled. "You're a real piece of work."

"Please be at the wedding." 

"No." 

"Noya," he begs his voice cracking. 

"No." I say, clenching my teeth. "Ask Suga or Daichi but...I cannot be your best man." 

"But you said-" 

"And I shouldn't have! I don't know what the fuck I was thinking? Or what you were thinking for that matter but I cannot and I will not be your best man."

Asahi looks down. "You will understand if you just-" 

"Bye, Asahi. I have to get back to work," I say spinning on the balls of my feet and rushing back towards the cafe. 

As I turn the corner, Ennoshita is there, waiting for me. 

He reaches out and takes my hand. "Come on, let's go steal one of Tsukki's beers." 

I spend the rest of the day wasted. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go down at Hinata and Kageyama's party.

**FOUR MONTHS UNTIL THE WEDDING**

It's Kageyama and Hinata's three year anniversary and Crow's is packed. Being the person Hinata is, he decided to share his party with Asahi and Annabelle and as the day turned to night, the walls of the small shop could barely contain everyone.

Everyone is dressed in their best; Daichi and Suga wear matching grey suits while Yama and Tsukki are sporting their usual, jeans and dull colored button ups. Tanaka is dressed in a white button up and black pants, very different from his usual t-shirt and sweats. Hinata looks perfect in his suit, a red suede jacket with dark jeans and black loafers and it's obvious that Kageyama can't keep his eyes off of him, as he stands in a similar outfit, his jacket deep blue, against the adjacent wayy with a drink in his hand gawking at Hinata.

The way Kageyama watches his boyfriend and smirks as Hinata laughs with Ennoshita, who looks great in the outfit I let him borrow, is beautiful and reminds me of the way that I would watch Asahi when cooking. 

He loves cooking. 

And Asahi...God, he looks ravishing. He's wearing a crew neck, black and tight, his hair tied back high on his head and light, faded jeans. He's wearing...the watch I gave him on graduation day, the gold shimmering underneath the multicolored lights of Tanaka's D.J setup. Annabelle looks beautiful too, her dress yellow and her boots shined and dark brown. Her blonde hair is curled and neatly pulled high and her lips are painted with the brightest red lipstick I've ever seen. 

Asahi looks my way and tries to offer a small smile but I shut him down as I turn back to the bar, drowning my liver in yet another glass of rum as I grunt. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder. 

"Slow down there, it's not even nine o'clock yet," giggles Suga as he slides to sit on the stool next to me. I giggle sarcastically before my frown comes back and I take another swig. Suga scoffs then tears the glass from my hand and pushes it down the bar. 

"What the hell?"

"I said slow down," he says, his eyes growing serious. 

I shake my head and look over at him. "How else am I supposed to get through this Suga," I ask with gritted teeth. "Huh?" 

He sighs and glances over at Asahi, closing his eyes. "Look, I know this is isn't easy for you. Believe me, I can't imagine what you're going through. But...please believe me when I say that this isn't easy for him either, Noya."

"Oh, so sorry for him that he's having wedding jitters."

"That's not what I mean."

I slowly slide my eyes to his. "What do you mean then?" 

Suga sighs and looks down at the bar. "Have you talked to him?"

I chuckle. "That's a good one." 

"Noya," he says, his tone grabbing my attention instantly, "you need to talk to him." 

The look in his eyes says everything but nothing all at once and my brow bends. "Suga, what do you know that I don't." 

Suga's muscles flutter in his cheek. "I can't be the one to tell you."

Then he stands and start to leave. "Wait, Suga! You can't-"

But my voice is lost over the  music as Tanaka's voice rings out over the speaker. 

"Alright guys, the day has ended and night has started which means so has this party!" he plays some cheesy sound effects with his machine and everyone cheers. I glance over at Asahi who's smiling and clapping, looking at Tanaka. I look away. "The bar is open and the bartenders are awake, thank you gentlemen," he says bowing towards Tsukki and Yama and only Yama bows back. "So lets get drinking and start dancing!" 

Again, the room explodes into cheers as the music starts to blast. 

I spin on the stool and order pour another glass of rum. 

***

**A FEW HOURS BEFORE THE PARTY**

I stare at the bruise broken across my back in the mirror, wondering how I'm going to hide this one. 

Putting my shirt on has proven to be impossible, as I've come to find out for the past half on hour, tear off the shirt and trying to put it back on again.

There's no way I can wear a suit tonight. 

I hear a knock on the bathroom door. "Asahi?" 

I freeze. 

"Sorry, Suga, I'll be out in a second!" I yell back, closing my eyes and mentally preparing to but on the suit. 

"Asahi, you've been in here forever, did you fall-"

He opens the door and drops the mug he's holding as his eyes lock onto the giant, black and yellow bruise. 

I turn to face him, slamming the bathroom door. 

I hear annabelles voice from down the hall. "Asahi, is everything okay?!" 

"All good, Anna, I'm fine! Just dropped a cup!" I yell back as I watch the tears form in Suga's eyes. 

He finally pulls his hands away from his mouth as he grabs my shoulders and spins me around to look a the bruise again, running his finger lightly over the mark. "Asahi, what-"

I turn back to face him. "Do not say anything to anyone, Suga."

"Are you insane? I-What in the hell happened, Asahi!? Tell me!"

"I can't."

"Bullshit, I'm getting Daichi-" 

He spins and opens the door. I grab his arm and slam the door again. "What did I just say. Please." 

"Tell me right now or I will tell Daichi." I pause. "Asahi, tell me how you got that bruise." 

"Please, I can't-" 

"Why? Who did this to you?" he asks through heavy tears. 

I look down, his tears bringing out my own. "He'll kill me if I say anything..."

Suga's breath catches. "Asa.."

"If I tell you, you cannot tell anyone else okay? Swear to me, Suga."

Suga closes his eyes but nods. "I swear." 

And so, I tell him. 

I tell him everything. I tell him about why I was always too afraid to introduce Noya as my boyfriend. 

I tell him about how my father found out about him...and how about he said that he would have Noya killed if I didn't move to America with him. 

I tell him about how Annabelle has been one of my best friends since I was born, how she's been like a sister to me, and how she still is. 

I tell him about how my father paid her to marry me, to make me straight. I tell him about how she understands though and accepts me for who I am and how I love her for that reason alone but also how I could never love anyone else in the way that I so desperately love Noya. 

I tell him about the camp that I was in for the past six months. The one where they tried to beat the gay out of me and shocked me with wires each time I cried out for Noya. 

I tell him about the bruise and how my father likes to drink and tell me I'm a disappointment to the family. How he tells me that I'm weak and pathetic.

By the end, we're both a mess, our faces soaked. 

Then the door opens and it's Daichi, standing there with clenched fists and damp cheeks, his eyes on my back. 

Suga and I jump to our feet. 

"Daichi-"

"I'm going to kill him." 

No!" I say as I go to him. "My father is a literal psychopath, Daichi. Please, _please_ promise me you won't get involved with this!"

"How can I not!" he yells and soon annabelle is there. 

"Guys, let's all calm down-"

He flips to her. "How could you agree to this?" 

"Trust me, I don't like this anymore than you do," she barks back, straightening her spine. She's always been the brave one. "Don't get in my face and accuse me of things you know nothing about."

"Daichi, she did this for me, okay. He would kill her too if she had refused."

"You father needs to be locked up...or pushed off a damn cliff or something," he says as he punches the bathroom wall. 

Suga jumps and goes to him, grabbing his hand as Daichi curses at the pain. "You fool," he whispers as he kisses Daichi's hand. 

Then Daichi looks up at me. "Oh my god. Noya." 

I slam my eyes shut. I feel Annabelle's tiny hand on my chest. "It's okay, Asa. It's okay." 

I shake my head. "No, it will never be okay." 

***

The dance floor is packed. I'm leaning against the wall finishing off my sixth glass of liquor when I feel someone take my hand. My world is spinning and I'm only focused on my feet as I'm dragged through the crowd of drunk, dancing people. I'm pulled through the door and the air from the night slaps me in the face. I stumble a bit as my body slacks to the side but thick hands are quick to hold me up. 

"Noya, you need to stop drinking." 

I yank away from him, my mind on fire. "You have no right to t-tell me what to do." 

"You're drunk and I'm worried about you."

I look up at him, his face sweaty and bright underneath the string of lights that hang over the sign. "Why are you so goddamn beautiful," I say with tears in my eyes. 

Asahi's face soften as he takes a step towards me. "Oh Noya," he says as he reaches out and runs a finger down my cheek. 

I moan from his touch, hungry for more. 

"Why is this happening, Asahi. Why-"

He closes the gap between us and cups my face between his hands, our foreheads touching and I gasp. "I want to tell you. I want to explain everything." 

"Explain what, Asa?" I say leaning into him. "What's going on? I-I'm so lost. I'm so confused..." 

"I know, Noya. I'm so sorry..." 

"HEY!" 

My body sloppily turns in the direction of the voice, my body sobering up a bit all on it's own. 

Asahi father stands before us as Asahi's face grows hard, in a way that I've never seen him look before, as he moves to stand in front of me.

This is not a side of Asahi I have ever seen. 

"What are you doing here?" he grows. 

"What a warm welcome, Azumane," growls his father as he pushes up his sleeves. "You have some explaining to do," he says, sliding his eyes over to me. 

Asahi's muscle tense. "Leave."

"Asahi, what's going on?" I say, grabbing onto his arm.

"Get your filthy hands off him, you faggot," yells his father in my direction and I jump a bit. 

"Don't you dare speak to him," says Asahi, pushing me behind him. "I'm doing everything you want. You shouldn't be here." 

Then from the door comes Daichi, Kageyama, Hinata, Ennoshita, Annabelle and Suga. 

Ennoshita comes over to me and hugs me forcefully and I embrace it. 

"Get off my property," demands Daichi as Suga holds him back. 

"God, it's pathetic! How you all flock together," growls his father with a disgusted tone. 

"I'll kill you," grits Daichi. 

"Be my guest, fag."

"Hey, watch it," barks Kageyama. 

"You should leave, sir. Please," begs Annabelle as she moves to stand next to Suga. "We have an agreement."

"You wanna talk about agreements, I think my son here is breaking a major part of it right now," he scoffs, Asahi's father looking over at Hinata. "You all disgust me." 

Hinata cowers and Kageyama stands straighter. "I'll kill you if you even look at him wrong." 

"Down, boy. You should be more respectful towards your elders."

"My parents are inside. If they know you're here, they won't be happy. And I really don't think you'd risk breaking our contract over something as silly as a party, now would you?" states Annabelle.

She's a brave girl, I'll give her that.

"Are you threatening me?"

He takes a step towards her and we all take a step towards him.

"Leave if you know what's good for you." Daichi speaks clear and quick.

His father chuckles then bows. "It appears I'm not welcome." He looks to Asahi who looks away. "I'll see you at the wedding."

He spins and strolls back down the alleyway.

I stand with my head hung low as everyone settles. Daichi whispers something to Kageyama and Hinata as they and Annabelle go back inside after she leans up and kisses Asahi on the cheek.

I cringe. 

Then it's me, Asahi, Daichi Suga and Ennoshita. 

"Noya, maybe we should go home," he says, hugging me.  

"No." 

Everyone looks at me.

I look at Asahi. 

"What the hell is going on?"

I look between the three of them. 

"Someone say something!"

"Noya, calm down," says Suga. 

"Oh bite me." 

"Hey, watch it," snaps Daichi, moving in front of Suga. 

"Oh come on, like I'd hurt him!"

"Noya," whispers Asahi. "Give me until tomorrow and...I'll tell you everything." 

I laugh. "Tomorrow. Sure," I say as I stumble free from Ennoshita. "As you w-wish..."

I wave my hand and start walking away, stumbling into the wall. Ennoshita and Asahi both move for me but Ennoshita beats him, throwing a hard look at Asahi. "I'm taking him home." 

Asahi looks at him for a second then nods. 

I don't remember saying goodbye to anyone. 

I only remember crying when I got home. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love Triangles are fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys liking this story? I'm in love with it but I don't know how y'all are feeling? Should I keep it going?  
> Love yall and thanks for reading!

I wake up in the morning with a hangover from hell. My head is trying to kill me, I can it feel as I look up at the window, the light burning holes into my corneas. I look over on my bedside table and see a note, a full glass of water and three pills. 

Grunting I break free from my blanket and gra the note: 

_I took today off from work and so did you._

_I'm in the kitchen cooking breakfast._

_I love you and I'm here._

_Love, Ennoshita._

I smile and thank whatever there is up above for giving me a friend like him. 

With my arms shaky and my stomach cursing at me, I sit up and rub at my eyes as the memories of last night come rushing back into my mind. 

Five years. Five wonderful years I dated Asahi and never would be let me meet his father. I always thought it was just because he lived in America and that I simply couldn't  meet him but I guess in the back of my mind, I always knew there was some other reason. 

Asahi is timid and jumpy and as I watched him with his father last night, tall and stoic but still rattled and clearly terrified...it all makes sense. 

But why did he never tell me? Why would he never say anything? 

Just how awful is his father...and why was Daichi and Suga so hell bent on him leaving? 

And then there was Annabelle. 

An agreement? 

I moan and fall back into the mattress, my head in way too much pain to be tackling all of this yet. 

The smell of bacon is the only thing that drags me from my bed as I walk into the kitchen dragging my feet. 

Ennoshita giggles when he sees me. "He has risen!" he jokes and I laugh mockingly. 

"Hilarious." 

"How are we feeling today?" 

"Exactly as expected," I grumble running a hand down my face as I climb up into one of the barstools. "I didn't realize how much I drank."

"Well, you did sample everything from the bar...and finished the rest of the rum."

"I like rum."

"You love rum."

I smile. "You know me so well."

He peels out a few slices from the pan and plops them onto a plate.

My stomach growls at me. I look back up at him and pout. "Eat."

I point to my stomach. "But it stays no."

"Ignore it. "

"Rude," I say as I nibble on the bacon as Ennoshita continues cooking eggs. 

"Asahi is coming over." 

I stop eating.

He turned back to me. "Are you breathing?" I nod. "Good," he says continuing to cook.

"Why is he coming here?" 

"I figured you would feel better being in your own home."

"Why is coming at all? I-I don't want to see him."

"Liar." 

I grunt. 

"You guys need to talk. After last night, it can't be avoided anymore," he says his voice dropping in volume.

My brow bends. "Ennoshita?"

He stops cooking and sighs. "Just...be careful," he whispers.

I set the slice of bacon down and walk over to him, leaning onto the counter next to him. "I will. I promise."

He looks to me. "I don't want to...see you get hurt again. Not ever again," he says, looking down.

My eyes open as his honesty and I reach over and squeeze his arm. "I know. I-I'll be careful."

"Please." He drops the spatula and tosses his arms around me, his hug suffocating as the eggs sizzle in the background. 

I hug him back as his hand hold the back of my head. 

A weird spark lights in my stomach after after a while, Shita pulls away clearing his throat. 

We stare at each other for a moment, his lazy eyes staring deep into me before we both look away with red cheeks. 

....What the hell was that? 

**THREE YEARS AGO**

**ASAHI'S BIRTHDAY**

Noya and Asahi are making out in the middle of the dance floor, Asahi's hands running up and down Noya's back, my best friend smiling into the kiss as the music picks up and they dance more. 

I watch them both with a smile, a smile I don't realize is forced until I feel a tear slip from my eye. 

I stand up straight and wipe it away, looking around me to see if anyone saw. 

I'm in the clear. 

When the music stops, Noya comes running over to me, his breath drenched with alcohol, rum of course, and hugs me, almost picking me off my feet and I giggle against him as we both tumble a bit. "You're tipsy already?" I ask as I hold him steady. 

"It's a party, Shita, I'm allowed to be tipsy!" he says with a smirk. 

I toss up my hands in surrender. "No argument from me." I look back over at Asahi who has pulled his hair from his tie and is now dancing with Suga and Hinata in the middle of the cafe. 

I don't hate Asahi, I can't in anyway. He's my friend, he always has been. He's one of the most gentle, caring people on this planet. He's perfection and with Noya, he's everything I've ever wanted for Noya. He's patient and quiet, counteracting against Noya's spontaneous, wild personality and it works.

But...he's not me.

The sound of Noya saying my name yanks me back into the moment. "Shita, you alive up there," he says, poking my forehead.

I scratch the back of my neck. "All good," I say with a cheesy thumbs up.  

I'm a terrible liar. 

"You're a terrible liar." I roll my eyes. "Let's get you a drink," he says grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowd of people. 

As we walk to the bar, we pass Tsukki and Tanaka sitting at one of the tables, both chugging beers while Kageyama them on. 

Noya slaps Kageyama's back as we pass as Tanaka winks at me from behind his glass. 

_Damn him for knowing all of my secrets._

When we get to the bar, Yama is chatting with a young girl who obviously cannot tell that he's gay. When he sees us, he sighs and sheepishly slips away from her. 

"Oh thank god," he says as he sets two glasses up on the bar and starts to fill them with the drinks he knows we like. "I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't going to give her my number." 

"You know Tsukki would be more than happy to tell her," I say winking. 

"Yeah right, he'd crush her soul." 

We all laugh. 

He slides the rum to Noya while handing me a cocktail.

"You guys aren't dancing?"

" _I_ was," says Noya, nudging me in the side with his elbow, "this one refuses to have fun."

 "I-I can't dance and we all know this." 

"Oh I don't know Shita, you got some moves," says Yama as he takes a sip of his beer.

"Uh huh."  

Noya giggles and my heart beats a little faster. 

His cheeks are red and his hair is wild from dancing, his chest heaving as he still tries to catch his breath. He's wearing a yellow shirt, reminding me of his uniform in high school and dark jeans and god, he looks great. Asahi made his taste in style change. 

_Thank you for that at least, big guy._

Noya and I finish our drinks at the same time, slamming our glasses on the table. "Okay, now we're dancing!" 

"W-What? No! Noya-"

But I don't have much time to argue as he again takes my hand and drags me to the dancefloor, dancing in front of me awkwardly as I stand still. 

"Move those hips, Shita," yells Hinata as he dances still with Suga and Asahi who's watching noya with loving eyes. 

I sigh and slowly begin to dance and Noya smiles and cheers, which makes me dance faster. We spin in circles, my hands in his as we bounce and bump and touch...his touch wonderful and electric as skin touches skin. He spins me around as I have to duck under his arm and we both laugh as we fall into each other holding hands. I lift my eyes to look at his, swallow the words that almost slip from my lips as I suddenly pull away, horrified and run away. 

"Ennoshita!" I hear him call out for me. 

I'm out the door within seconds, bursting into the alleyway as I fall into a full blown panic attack. 

My breathing is all over the place and my chest is one fire. 

I claw at my chest, digging at my skin just wanting to pull the damn thing out. 

My vision is blurry as I lean over, hands on my knees. 

"Shita!" 

I roll my eyes, my breathing getting faster. 

Noya runs to me and slides to his knees, looking up at me from the ground. "Breathe, Shita! Breathe!" 

I nod, trying to listen to him but the only thing on my mind is him. 

Him with Asahi, them kissing, me watching. 

I can't feel my face as I try to suck in air, failing miserably.

Then Noya's hands are holding my face and I can feel everything all at once. He's inches away whispering, "Listen to my voice, just calm down. Calm down, Shita."  He presses his forehead to mine and my heart breaks. "Calm down-"

I press my lisp to his as slowly we both move and stand, Noya's lips completely still against my own and his eyes wide. 

As I realize what's happening, I whimper and pull away, my face smoking and blistered. "Oh...oh my god," I say as I run my hands through my hair. 

Noya stands in front of me staring, his face flushed. 

"N-Noya, I'm so..." 

I turn to run but his hand grabs my wrist. "It's okay, Shita! Don't run! I understand, okay! I-I was just shocked..." 

Every muscle in my body is screaming. 

My mind is racing. 

I kiss him and this is how he acts. 

Of course it is. He's not in love with me. 

He will always be in love with Asahi. 

"It's normal to react in crazy ways when having a panic attack."

I rub at my head. "Y-Yeah..." 

He pulls me into a hug and sighs. "Are you okay now?" 

I close my eyes. "Y-Yeah." 

"Good," he says pulling away and taking me back inside. 

I wasn't okay. 

I wasn't okay for a very long time. 

***

Asahi never came. 

I'm sitting on the couch, the light from the day fading as I stare at the door. 

Shita walks into the room and crosses his arms. "You need to move, you look pathetic." 

"He's not coming." 

"You don't know that." I look to him. "Okay, he's not coming," he says falling into the couch next to me.

"Why does he keep hurting me."

I can feel Shita's eyes on me. "I'm sorry, Noya."

"Don't be. You'd never hurt me."

"No. I wouldn't." 

I look to him and smile. 

I look at his lips and remember the time he kisses me in the alleyway. 

He'd never hurt me.

I lean over and kiss him before I know what I'm doing. As I kiss him, a small surprised whimper breaks against my lips before he sighs and kisses me deeper, his hand coming to hold my cheek. His lips are tender and wet and delicate and for a second, I think about how maybe I could do this everyday. The kiss is just as I remember, natural and sweet and nice but...

He's not Asahi. He's not Asahi holding me with thick hands and strong arms. He's not Asahi, lighting a fire so destructive in my gut I'm afraid I might burn up. 

He's not my Asahi. And I'm not in love with him. 

And I hate that he pops into my mind but he does and my eyes pop open as I pull away and fall backwards. 

Ennoshita when he pulls away is crying and God, I hate myself. 

"I-I'm so sorry, Shita. I don't-" 

"You're lonely. It's fine," he says as he stands. 

I reach out and grab his hand. "No, that doesn't make it right! I'm sorry!" 

He pauses before looking down at me and smiling, his smile fake and plastic. "It's okay, Yuu." 

The he pulls away and walks to his room, the sound of his door shutting ripping my heart in two. 

***

Daichi calls a meeting. 

We all go into work, Ennoshita sitting on the opposite side of the bar from me, Asahi sitting in the middle his eyes darting between the two of us as the tension between us is clear. Kageyama and Hinata are sat together at a table holding hands across from Tanaka as Yama and Tsukki sit with Suga. 

Asahi looks over at me, his eyes straining to meet with mine. His hair is loose, hanging to one side of his face and he looks stunning.

But I don't look long before I just pout and look down at my hands. 

I can hear him take a deep breath. 

Daichi stands behind the bar with his head hung low. 

"Daichi, what's going on?" asks Hinata, his voice small. 

"You're kinda freaking us out." 

"So Annabelle's parents want to have the wedding here."

Suga chuckles. "In the cafe?" 

Daichi nods. 

"Why here?" asks Kageyama.

"They like the atmosphere."

"American's," mumbles Tanaka and a few of us giggle. 

"So, that means for the next few months, this place is gonna be hectic. Between preparing for the wedding and the music festival that's happening in a few weeks, I'm going to need all hands on deck, and yes before you ask, I will pay for overtime." 

"Yes," growls Tsukki and Yama hits him. Suga laughs. 

"I'm going to be making the new schedules tonight and I'll warn you, it's going to be exhausting but that's we get for making such a cool shop,' he says winking and none of can argue. 

Crow's is an amazing place. 

"You couldn't just call to tell us this?" asks Yama. 

Daichi meets eyes with Suga as Asahi hangs his head low. 

"We have a problem." 

My heart stops as Daichi looks my way. "W-What?" 

"I don't know how to say this Noya...and trust me, Suga, Asahi and I tried to fight it but..." 

"But?" 

Asahi is the one to speak. "Y-You can't come to the wedding." 

Ennoshita looks up at that point. "What?" 

"This is bullshit," curses Tanaka. "Why would they say that? Asahi, you have to do something!" 

Asahi opens his mouth to say something but Daichi interrupts. "I-I know it's unfair...but those were the rules. That and there can be...no PDA at the wedding."

"PDA?" barks Kageyama, reaching and holding Hinata's hands in his. Hinata blushes. "This was that assholes doing, isn't it?"

"Kageyama!" yells Daichi.

"He's right though, isn't he," Ennoshita says, leaning over to look at Asahi with angry eyes. Asahi hangs his head lower. "Why don't you just stand up to him for once?"  

"I-" 

"Enough," Suga directs to Ennoshita. "Don't be cruel." 

Daichi looks my way. "I'm, sorry, Noya. We're going to try to talk to them again tomorrow but-"

"No." I say, surprising everyone. Even myself. 

"Noya-" Asahi says leaning over to touch me. 

I stand from my chair. "It's fine." I look to Daichi, "I'll see you at work tomorrow." 

I look quickly at Asahi whose eyes follow me across the room as I tug my hands into my pockets and leave the cafe.  

***

**EARLIER THAT DAY**

I'm leaving my apartment to go to Noya's, keys in hands when I open the door to see him standing at my doorstep. 

"Fuck," I curse under my breath as he yells and pushes me backwards, my head smacking into the wall. 

I quickly climb to my feet and run away as he chases after me through the halls of my apartment. He grabs my hair and pulls me back yanking me to face him by my shirt as he slaps me across the face and I tumble into the wall. I push away and keep running, my nose bleeding and my cheek throbbing. 

"You selfish, little bastard," he yells after me as we reach the kitchen, me on one side while he stands on the other.

I reach into my drawer and grab a knife. 

"Leave. Now." 

"You thought you were going to get away with it didn't you? You really thought I wouldn't figure it out that you were still seeing that disgusting little midget!"

"I'm not seeing him and don't call him names."  

"I'm not an idiot, boy. I saw the way you looked at each other last night. Made me sick." 

"I'm sorry happiness makes you sick, father." 

"Oh shut the fuck up," he growls moving towards me. But I stick out the knife and he stops, chuckling. "I'm moving up the wedding." 

"L-Like hell you are," I say stammer, my heart racing. 

"We have an agreement, son." 

"And I'm doing everything you've asked! I'm getting married for God's sake! Please, if there is any love in your heart for me, do not move up this wedding!" 

"I'm doing this because I love you, Azumane." 

I shake my head as tears build under my eyes. 

"fine. But for now on, you will not see that boy-"

"We work together!" 

"Outside of work, do you understand? And don't think I don't have eyes everywhere because I do. And I will know if you try anything funny with him, am I clear? Don't make me have to remind you of what I can do to people I'm not fond of." 

My eyes snap to his. "If you hurt him, I will kill you." 

My father smiles with teeth on display. "That's what I want. Anger. Be a man, damnit." 

"Get out of my house," I beg, trying to keep my voice steady. 

My father smiles, then bows before he turns and leave my apartment whistling before he turns back around. 

"Oh, and one more thing." I look back to him. "That boy is not allowed at the wedding, are we clear?" 

I open my mouth to argue but he's already walking away and as I hear the front door close behind him, I drop the knife and fall to my knees and sob. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya knows!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is so fun to write. Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! I'm glad you like it as much as I do! <3  
> Love yall!

**THREE AND A HALF MONTHS UNTIL THE WEDDING**

Half a month. 

Half a month since Asahi and I have spoken and it seems like my world is slowly getting darker each day. We see each other at work and on Sundays at the park when we all play volleyball...but our communication is never anything more than passing glances and annoyed grunts and god, it's killing me. Everyone notices too, Suga talks to me at least every three hours, casually dropping little hints that I don't understand and Daichi just looks at me like I'm a wounded puppy, the bastard. Hinata tries to make me go out for drinks with him, Yama and Tanaka whenever he gets the chance and most of the time I do go along, only to come home at 4a.m wasted out of my mind, crying into my pillow for Asahi...

And to make matters worse, Shita and I walk on eggshells around each other now. We made up and I swear, I apologized until I felt like my tongue was going to fall from my mouth and he accepted with his usual perky grin but it's not the same. He doesn't look at me in the eye or watch movies with me in the living room or come shopping with me at the grocery store down the street from our apartment. He's there and we talk but...he's distant and life without my best friend, after already losing the love of my life, is taking a toll on my body. 

But it's my fault and I know it so I'l give him all the space in the world. 

The wedding is only three and half months away and Annabelle is the cafe almost everyday, which is a new torture all in itself. I lean on the handle of the broom as I stare at them, Asahi and Annabelle seated at one of the tables leaned over a large white poster board with circles covering it. A seating chart without my name on it.

As I watch them, I sloppily reach down for the flask that I hide under my shirt and sneakily take a sip, burping up the rum as I stuff it back under my shirt.

His hair is hanging to one side and he's smiling, even though his smile nowadays never looks genuine and I grunt.

Someone clears their throat. I turn to see Kageyama. "You're going to wipe us out of alcohol again."

"Shut up," I mumble as I look away right as Asahi meets my gaze and continue sweeping underneath the tables.

Thank god it's slow today, this place is a mess.  

Kageyama looks over his shoulder at Daichi and Suga who are hunched over a calculator. "If they catch you, you're going home." 

"If they catch me, I'll inform them that alcohol is the only thing keeping me awake," I say, rubbing my brow. 

"And that's exactly why you should stop drinking," he says, reaching for my shirt and snatching the flask. I curse under my breath at him as he grabs it and sticks it into his apron. "You look like shit, Noya. You have bags as black as the damn street under your eyes. You smell like...what is that, baby powder? Are you sleeping at all?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Bullshit." 

"Bite me." 

"Maybe another time," he says and I smirk a bit. "You should go home, get some sleep. It's finally a slow day around here, Daichi would be happy to see you get some rest." 

I roll my eyes, my feet stumbling a bit from under me. Kageyama holds me steady and in the corner of my eyes, I can see Asahi looking my way. "Why are you being so nice, mr. sour puss." 

"You're lucky I'm not kicking our ass out the door, Noya. Be grateful. You're not okay and I'm worried," he says, his voice falling stern and serious.

We lock eyes for a second before I sigh and nod. "Fine, you win," I mumble and he chuckles. "Let me just finish sweeping and I'll...go." 

"Good, I'll let Daichi know," he says, patting my shoulder and walking towards them. 

I shake my head and go back to sweeping....just as my vision starts to blur. 

My knees wobble beneath me as I hold myself steady on the broom. 

_Okay...maybe he's right..._

My vision blurs and this time, the brook isn't enough. I stumble over bracing my hands on the table, the legs scratching across the floor, the sound echoing throughout the cafe. 

"Noya?" I hear him call as I look up with lazy eyes, my vision finally failing me. 

My hands slip out from under me as my body falls slack and...

"NOYA!"

Asahi yelling is the last thing I hear. 

***

I know I'm in the back room because of the smell. Pastries. I hate the smell of this room, the smell of sugar so strong it makes me nauseous. 

But there's another smell. Honey and coconut...and as I start to wake up and my eyes start to open, my heart races as I look down at my side to Asahi, asleep on my arm next to me on the bed, his hand holding mine and I gasp a little, the sight so beautifully familiar but distant at the same time. 

_How long have I been asleep? What-_

I passed out. I remember now. 

Kageyama was right. I need to sleep...and stop drinking. 

I stir a little, brushing away his hair from my shoulder, the feeling of his hair slipping between my fingers nostalgic and peaceful and suddenly, I find myself stroking my fingers through it, my nails brushing against his scalp. 

He moans, another blissful, familiar sound and I quickly pull away as he lifts his head sleepily and rubs at his eyes. "Noya?" His eyes open as he looks down at his hand in mine and yanks it away, my heart shattering all over again. He looks me over with worried eyes. "Are you okay? Are you hurting?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Noya, you collapsed! You're not fine!" 

"I'm just tired," I say, turning my head to face the wall. 

"A-Are you not sleeping?" 

"Why ask," I grunt, still not looking his way. "You don't care anyways." 

I'm so bitter. 

"Why would you ever say that?" he whispers. "Of course I do. Noya-" 

"You should get back to Annabelle." 

"No, I'm right where I need to be." 

"Oh please, you don't need to be here. You need to be with your bride to be. Seating charts and all that jazz certainly can't be handled without you present..." 

"Noya, will you stop," he whispers, his words lined with a light beg. 

I close my eyes and sigh then turn back to him. My eyes are still closed. "Why have you been ignoring me?" 

"I-I can't tell-"

"Of course not," I say, sitting up way too quick, but damn me if I'm going to show how unbelievably dizzy I still am. I grip at my forehead. 

Asahi rests his hand on my back. "Careful, not so fast-" 

I slap away his hand. 

"Don't." 

I slide from the bed to sit further away from him as he leans his elbows on his knees and sighs deeply. 

"Can you at least tell me why you lied to me?" 

"W-What are you talking about-"

"You were supposed to explain everything to me. You were supposed to come over, the night after your father..." his body tenses up at the mention of his dad and my heart leaps a bit. "Then next thing I know, I'm not even allowed to the damn wedding anymore and you won't acknowledge my presence. I mean...what happened overnight that changed so drastically that you stood me up after owning me an explanation?" 

"Noya, it's not you. You did _nothing_ ," he says standing and walking over to me and my body flinches as he sits next to me on the bed and reaches for my hands.

I pull away. 

He draws back with sad eyes. 

"This...thing that's happening. It's...so complicated, Yuu," he says, my name on his lips sweet and tender and real. 

I want to cry. 

I face him as I see his face fall pale and hung. I lean over a bit, his eyes watering and my lips part. "Asahi," I say, trying to get him to look at me. "Talk to me, please. _Please_." 

"I-I-"

"You can't but why? What is going on? I feel like I'm in the fucking twilight zone here, Asa-" 

He looks at me as I use his nickname and a tear drips down from his eye.

My eyes expand as a fire smokes in my gut. 

My body aches for him, to hold him and comfort him. 

Now...I'm worried. 

"What is going on? Tell me or I will ask your father-"

"NO!" He yells, grabbing both of my shoulders and I freeze. "Noya, whatever you do, promise me you will never go near him! Please, please, Noya!" he says, tears now flying from his eyes and I'm shaking before I can stop it. "Promise me you will never go near him, pl-"

"Okay, okay," I say, wrapping my hands around his arms. "I-I won't but Asahi...you need to tell me what's happening, you're scaring me." 

His bottom lip pouts as he hangs his head. "I am scared, Yuu," he whispers and the fire only grows hotter.

"Asahi." My voice is deep and dark and he can feel it as he looks up to me. "Are you in trouble?" 

He cries harder as a watch what looks like a wave, a wash of something like surrender consume his entire body.

"No, Noya," he cries, his voice thin. "You are." 

***

Never in my life have I known anger like this.

A hatred so terrifying that as I stand from the bed with my fists clenched and storm from the back room, I'm scared of even myself as I stomp into the cafe, rolling up my sleeves. 

Kageyama is at the register while Daichi and Suga are still hard at work on the books. Annabelle is still working on the seating chart while Tanaka has taken over my job as he sweeps in the corner of the room and as they see me, all eyes on me, they stand up as I walk towards Daichi and Suga. 

"Noya?" Asks Tanaka dropping the broom. 

Daichi stands first, leaping protectively in front of Suga as I rush at them, Suga cowering behind his husband. 

 _Never_ would I hurt Suga. Or Daichi but right now, all I see is red, the sound of Asahi calling my name nothing but a low hum in the back of my mind. 

"You knew," I growl as I rush over to Daichi, limbs shaking. Tanaka joins us, trying to hold me back.

Daichi growls. "Calm down right now, Noya." 

"All this time, you knew," I look to Suga. "You both knew!" 

"Noya, please. It wasn't our secret to tell and..." Suga looks to Asahi. "What all did you tell him?" 

Asahi stands behind me shaking with his chin to the floor. "Everything." 

"Oh geez," whine Suga. 

"If you know everything," adds in Daichi, just as scary and intimidating as I feel, "then you know why we didn't tell you. Asahi was terrified, Noya. His dad-" 

"Is dead," I bite, my teeth clenched so tight I fear they might shatter. "I'm going to kill him."

Annabelle runs over to us. "Noya, please. You cannot say anything, okay. If he knows, if he even finds out that you spoke today, he will-"

"He will what?" I say facing her.

"Annabelle, wait-"

"He's a psychopath, Noya! He almost killed Asahi for what happened at the party! Those bruises is nothing compared to what will happen if-"

"Wait," I say, my body numb as I turn to face Asahi. Asahi is shaking violently as he slowly meets my eyes. "What is she talking about?" 

Annabelle gasps. "Oh god." 

"You didn't tell him?" whispers Suga. 

"What the hell is happening?" injects Kageyama, who shares a confused look with Tanaka. 

Asahi cries a little harder. 

I step closer. 

"W-What did he do to you?" Asahi doesn't answer. "D-Did he hurt you?" My words shake on my tongue, the angry now a murderous venom brewing in my blood.

Asahi looks at me and says nothing but he doesn't have to.

 "Show me." 

"No," he begs. 

"Asa..."

 _"Please_ ," he says as he walks to me and reaches out for me. 

"Show him," I hear Daichi command. 

Asahi looks to his friend panting then closes his eyes. 

He walks to me. I step closer. 

He turns and slowly lifts up his shirt revealing his back....

The bruise is purple and yellow and horrendous and the venom in my blood now turns to something demonic as I gape at the nasty mark that litters his entire back. His spine looks the worse, as if he was punched...over and over and over...

"What the fuck," breathes Kageyama in shock. 

"Asahi...is this...new?" asks Suga with tears in his eyes. 

"New?" yells Tanaka. "This isn't the first time?" 

I swallow the words taunting on my tongue as the only thought in my mind is...

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch," I mumble and Asahi flips around.

"Noya, no! Please, you see now what he does! You see why I did what I did. Okay, he wants you dead and he'll do it! He will, I told you-"

"Let him try."

"No!" he screams, suddenly pulling me into his arms, my body slamming hard against his chest and god, my body reacts instantly as I fall slack against him. His touch is exhilarating and warm and desperate. "No," he mutters again. "I would kill myself tomorrow if anything ever happened to you." 

Me eyes bulge from my skull. 

The air goes thick as a silence falls between everyone in the room. 

"Asahi..."

"I love you. I love you. I've always loved you and I've never stopped. No amount of pain or convincing will ever make me not love you and no matter what my father does or what this wedding means to him, there will never be another you, Noya. I will never love anyone else as long as I walk this earth, you are...I love you." 

My heart is clawing its way through my rib cage as now, I'm crying. 

I lock eyes with Annabelle who...

 _She's smiling._  

And it hits me

_It's all true._

Everything he said. 

The wedding being fake. 

Annabelle being his friend. 

His father paying her to marry him. 

The gay camp. 

Slowly, my arms slide up to hug him, my hands nestling into his hair as he sighs against me and cries, my arms hugging him as if it was the last time. 

He doesn't love Annabelle. 

He never did. 

He left to protect me and all this time, all I've done is hate him, curse him, blame him for all my pain when all this time, he took in all of the pain without a single complaint...all for me.

"A-Asahi, tell me I'm not dreaming," I moan into his hair as he draws back to look at me. "Because God, I love you-" 

He's kissing me before I can finish and I moan and whimper and whine as every doubt or fear or wild illusion that I constructed in my head evaporates and we mold into one being, his lips devouring my own, his teeth eating me up as my hands are eager and hungry to touch him. His neck, his face, his shoulders, his chest, his arms, I touch  _everywhere,_ absorbing and remembering every bump and muscle and body part into my palms, into my mind as the kiss grows harder and intimate and animalistic. 

My Asahi. 

Mine. 

My love. 

God, how I love him. 

_I'm home._

We don't stop kissing. 

I don't now when everyone left the room. 

_I'm home._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, mention of suicide! <3
> 
> Love yall!

Annabelle and Asahi sit across from me at the table while Suga and Daichi sit on my side, Suga clenching one of my hands in his so tight that I can feel my knuckles cracking. 

We're all silent, sitting now at the table as Asahi looks my way reaching for my other free hand, which I take happily. Never in my life will I ever pass up a chance to touch him ever again.  

Suga sent Kageyama and Tanaka home for the day which was a good idea, the less people who know about Asahi's situation the better, and they now already know too much. 

But I still feel like I know nothing. Sure, I was given the run down and...the damn bruises, I know about that but in all honestly, I know nothing. I know nothing of what he went through or how his father came to find out....or why he wants me dead for that matter. 

I squeeze Asahi;s hand tighter and he moans a little. 

"I'm sorry we didn't say anything to you, Noya," says Annabelle, looking down at her hands which rest in her lap. "but you need to understand-"

"No, I-I understand. I was just..."

"Angry," she finishes for me and I nod. "I know." 

I look to Asahi. "God, why didn't...how long has this been happening?" 

His eyes slide to mine. "Has what been happening?" 

"Asahi," growls Daichi, who looks even more furious than I do. "Don't cover for him anymore, please." 

Asahi sighs. 

"Since we were kids," whispers Annabelle as Suga, Daichi and I all gasp in unison. 

"W-Wait so...this didn't just start? Him...hurting you, this is normal?" I grit out, the words painful on my tongue. 

He just sags deeper into his seat. 

"Asahi," I say, pulling my hand from Suga's and taking both of Asahi's. "Baby, why...why did you keep this from me?" 

"Noya, please understand. I know Asahi's father almost better than anyone. He's always treated me like a daughter..." she says, and I can feel the guilt in her voice as she says the words. "He is...terrible. And manipulative. And brutal and trust me, I've tried to stop him. I've called the police more time than I can count but..."

"But my father is well known," mumbles Asahi before looking back to me.

Annabelle grabs Asahi's shoulder. "He's a celebrity in the states, his company is at the top of all the lists for the business industry. He has dinner with names people in America would bow for if asked. He's...powerful in every sense of the word. And..."

"I'm terrified of him. Completely terrified." 

We all look to him.

"Asahi," whimpers Suga. 

I run my hands up his arms. "How bad?" 

His eyes expand. 

"Noya," pleads Annabelle.

"How bad has it gotten?" 

He looks my way, eyes blistered. My heart shatters. 

"H-Has he put you...in the hospital?" 

Asahi doesn't move...until he nods. 

Daichi lips part as he slams his fist onto the table. 

"Wait," whispers suga. "That time...you said you were mugged when we were in middle school. You had a knife wound-" 

"What," I jump in. 

Suga continues. "Asahi, was that-"

"Yes." 

A new kind of monstrous anger boils in my stomach as my vision goes red.

_Five years._

We dated for five years and never...how did I not notice? Why did he never say anything to me? Doesn't he trust me? Doesn't he feel safe with me?

"You never sad anything to me," I say, my eyes dropping as his come up. "Five years and there's so much that I don't know..." 

"Noya, I was trying to keep you safe! If I ever mentioned it, he would have-"

"Killed me?" 

"Yes," snaps Annabelle. "God, don't you see it yet?" she's yelling now and I flinch a bit. "Everything he endured, he did for you! The camp, the beatings, the abuse, moving to America, the damn wedding! He did all of it so that his father wouldn't send his A-Team after you and bring your head back on a silver platter, you selfish bastard!" 

Tears swell in my eyes. Heavy, painful tears.

Asahi gasps but I don't look up. 

"Annabelle!" yells Asahi. 

"NO! All he's done since you've came back is complain and mope around like a wounded puppy but he hasn't had to go through anything that you have! He hasn't been in pain like you have-" 

"No, he hasn't," barks a voice from the door and I'm shocked beyond reason as I turn to see Ennoshita standing with his head down and his fists clenched and so is Daichi and Suga as we all look to our friend.

"Shita," I whsiper, eyes wide and heart pounding. 

"He hasn't been through what Asahi has been through. But if you're going to be so naive as to say that he hasn't also been in pain, you're blind and I'm sorry, stupid. You might have known Asahi since you were children, but you are not Noya. You are not and were not in love with Asahi like Noya is and was and you, Annabelle, you weren't here for the aftermath. You weren't here for the nights, every single night for three months while he cried himself to sleep in his room-" 

"Shita, stop," I beg, more tears forming in my eyes. 

"You weren't here for the times when all he did was blame himself, not eating or drinking for days because 'he didn't deserve it'. For all the time I had to stop him from drowning in his alcohol or taking the pills in his medicine cabinet." He looks to Asahi. "You weren't here and I was." 

Asahi looks to Shita and stares with wide eyes. 

"Noya, is that true," asks Suga, leaning over to look at me. 

I just close my eyes. " _Please_ ," I plead now as I sit shaking in my seat, unaware of what I'm even pleading for. 

Annabelle sighs across from me. "Noya-"

"Noya, I'm sorry," injects Asahi as he stands from the table and walks over to me, bending down beside me, his knees popping. "Please, Yu, look at me." 

I can't. 

I shake my head. 

"Look at me, baby." 

My heart swells. 

His fingers come up to take hold of my chin. He turns my face towards his, my eyes hesitant to meet his own. But I do, his eyes filled with worry and warmth and passion. I sniffle as his free hand brushes my hair from my eyes. "I apologize, Yu. For leaving, for running. For not giving you a good explanation and god, I'm so unbelievably sorry that I hurt you. I _never_ want to hurt you, ever and I never will again for as long as I'm alive. And it's not a good enough excuse, there will never be an excuse good enough but...I agreed to my fathers terms because if anything ever happened to you...I would have no reason to continue living, do you understand me?" My lips part as my breathing quickens. "I would go through years upon years of torture if it meant you being okay," he says, his hand on my cheek firm and assured.

"Asahi," breathes Daichi.

I look to Shita whose eyes are lowered to the ground, his shoulders slouched and my heart burns a bit before looking back at Asahi. "This isn't over yet. We-We have to go on with the wedding-"

"But-"

"Noya, we have no choice. It's that or..."

"There is no option two," says Annabella, looking at me smiling.

"When my father wants his way, he gets it. I wish I was stronger but when it comes to you, I'm not. And I'm not willing to risk it." 

"There has to be something we can do," adds Suga. "There's nothing fair about this."

"Trust me, I've tried," says Annabelle weakly. 

"But that was you trying to tackle him alone," says Daichi, reaching for Suga's hand. "I know you weren't around for our high school years, Annabelle but...no one in this family tackles anything alone." 

Asahi looks up at Daichi. 

He's right. 

Tanaka, Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukki, Yama, Daichi, Suga...Asahi and me. Shita. 

We're a family and that will never change. 

Family helps family.

Daichi slaps Asahi's back. "You will never again have to face this alone, Asahi." 

His lip quivers and I smile. 

"We'll figure something out," mumbles Shita from the doorway, his eye still down. 

We all looks his way. 

I run my hand down Asahi's cheek before walking to Shita, his eyes rising to mine, his lips weak and his hands shaking. 

"You're amazing." 

His eyes enlarge and fade to red. 

"Thank you, Shita." 

"For you," he whispers, "anything." 

Something in my stomach flutters and on the back of my head, I can feel Asahi's eyes burning a hole between the two of us. 

I hug him anyways.

We stay that way. 

Things are not good but...they're getting better.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**3 MONTHS UNTIL THE WEDDING**

I thought that once Asahi finally opened up and told me about what had been going on, things would get better. 

But damn, I was so wrong. 

I'm still not allowed to be around him outside of work, and whenever we do interact _at_ work it's like torture; barely brushing fingertips and sneaking glances as we pass each other while serving customers. It makes me feel like i'm back in high school again, trapped in the closet but now, there's way more locks than there was before. 

Annabelle is still always around to keep up the facade. But on that side of things, I've come to find out that she's an amazing person. She's a english teacher in elementary school and has two dogs and fish and lived in an apartment with her older brother back home in Texas. She and Asahi were kids before his mother died and long after and as I've come to sit with her and get more information...about Asahi's dad and how much of a corrupt, conservative, garbage can of a human being he is, the more I've come to respect what she sacrified for Asahi. 

And it's nice to know that if his father _does_ kill me, there is someone else out there who loves him just as much as I do...

Shita and I are better too, the tension is still there but not as bad as it was and after I busted into his room sobbing into his shoulder for two plus hours the night that ASahi told me the truth about everything, begging him to forgive me, he broke and so did I and now...things are smoother and I'm grateful. I don't think I could survive what I know is coming without him by my side. 

I snap out of my thoughts and nearly topple over the table I'm cleaning as the sound of the front door rings and another large heard of drunk humans stumbles into the cafe. 

I grunt and hurry to clear more tables. 

Everyone is working today because everyone in Japan and most likely the world is at Crow's. The International K-Pop Music festival kicks off tonight and everyone from around the world is here for the event. Musicians from all over Japan and some from China and even the United States are here to perform for the three day, weekend festival and honestly, I can't wait for it to be over. Trust me, I love K-Pop just as much as the next person but this event is always killer and wild and by the end of the weekend, Crow's is always destroyed. 

Everyone always wants to come in to see the shop run by the team that made it to Nationals and won. 

Tsukki and Yama have their hands full at the bar with Hinata's help, serving up pitcher after pitcher of Yama's famous 'Happy Camper' brewed beer.

Kageyama is yelling in the back for Daichi's help as all the Americans at the bar are begging for BBQ while chugging down drinks poured by Tsukki.

Suga is in the back tossing more dough while Ennoshita and I are clearing out and cleaning up the room for the club to open in a few hours, while Tanaka sets up his booth and creates his new playlist.

Asahi is at the register, taking orders and pulling in money while Annabelle acts as hostess at the front door. 

Everyone is slaving and sweaty and for a second, my eyes fly over to Asahi, his hair falling free from it's tie as he constantly pushes the long strands behind his ears. His lips are stretched into a ruby smile as he laughs and chats with people at the counter, his tip jar practically overflowing as I watch the last guy in the line wave and leave.  

The giant green monster in me almost explodes as I watch the guy go back and try to shove Asahi his number. His eyes look to mine as he giggles nervously and I raise an eyebrow as Asahi waves his ring finger in the air, showing that he's taken and the guy shrugs and runs back to join his friends. 

But he's not taken by me, not completely. He's Annabelles in the eyes of everyone that matters and my stomach churns as I force myself to rmember that. 

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop," says Shita as we push two large tables against the wall. 

"What?" 

"Don't what me, I'm not an idiot." 

I roll my eyes. 

"Have y'all spoken since..." 

"No. Not really. He won't...you know, risk it." 

"Good," mumbles Shita and a small part of me knows why he says it. 

He has his own giant green monster. 

"Have you seen his father at all," he asks and when I don;t answer, my hands balling into fists at my side, he asks again. I look to him. "Noya, did...did he-"

"No, he didn't try anything but...I think he followed me home the other night." 

Shita's lips fall open as he grabs my hand and ushers me into the corner and I can feel Asahi's eyes follow us there. 

"What the hell, Noya! Why didn't you say something!" 

"What ws I supposed to say?"

"Oh, I don't know! Something along the lines of, 'Hey, I think your drunken father who is crazy abuse and wants me dead was following me home the other night', maybe something like that!" 

"And give him one other thing to worry about!" 

"Asahi can't be the only thing we all worry about here, Noya!" he screams and I hurry to cover his mouth as the volume in the room lowers. 

"Okay, okay-"

He wiggles free from my hand. "No, Noya. I'm serious. I understand that Asahi has it bad but...I think everyone is washing over the fact that his father has threatened to have you _killed_ , more than once! EVeryone else might be ignoring it but, not me." 

"Who says anyone's ignoring it," he says as with wide eyes, I turn to see Asahi standing next to us with his arms crossed and his face stern. 

Shita sighs (more like a grunt) and just pushes past us. "Shita, wait-" I call after him but it's too late. I run my hand down my face. "Great, you had to choose now to be all stoic, big guy?" 

"What were you guys talking about?"

"Nothing-" 

"Noya, come on," he says, his normal light tone coming back to him. "I-I know something is up and you're hiding it from me."

"Well, now you know what it feels like." 

The words leave my lips before I can stop them. 

Asahi looks to his feet. 

"I-I'm sorry-"

"No. You have...every right to say that." 

We both go silent. 

"I'm...going to go check on Shita," I say as I try to walk past him but before I can he grabs my arm and does a quick look around the room before dragging me towards the back door that leads to the alleyway. 

Once we clear the cafe and hit the alleyway, he looks around once again, my eyes on his the entire time as he then looks down at me, takes both of my shoulder in his giant hands and backs me up against the wall. My breath hitches as he stares into me, through me, _past me_ , so deep that it almost hurts. He drags his hands up my shoulders, my neck until he reaches my face and my eyes flutter the entire time from his touch. Asahi's lips release a moan so low and sultry that my cock instantly reacts. 

"I-I can't remember the last time you touched me like this," I whine into his arm as his hands continue to ravish through my hair and down my neck and back up to my hair. My body arches against him, my cock hungry to graze his and once they do touch, we both shatter, Asahi throwing his hands against the brick wall behind me for support. He groans and nibbles at his lip and my eyes soak up every image of him as I watch him grow more and more excited. Then before I know it, his lips crash against mine and I let out a whimper so rattling, I can hear my bones throughout my ears sing a new kind of song, our lips quick to part and our tongue hungry to touch as the kiss grows and intensifies. His lips are soft, so soft that I melt against them and as he pushes his body up against mine, my knees fall weak and I toss my arms around his neck so I don't crash to the earth a crumble to dust. 

We're gasping as we devour each other beneath the kiss, panting as our teeth scrape together but we don't stop. Nothing on earth could stop me from kissing this man and making him mine.

No matter what his father does,  _this man is mine._

Asahi pulls away, spit roping between our mouths. "I miss you," he says through a whisper as one hand comes back to rest on my cheek. I push my forehead to his and he shutters and I freeze completely as I watch a tear rolls from his eye. "I miss this, I miss us-" 

I take his face between my hands as I tangle my legs between his."I know." 

"I know you're...in pain and I'm sorry-"

He's panicking.

"Asahi-"

"I hate that he's keeping me from you but...I can't...I can't risk your life just because I want you. I can't let him take you away from me _permanently_ -" 

"He won't!" 

"He will! Do you think I like not being able to talk to you or touch you or-" he stops and stares hard at my lips and damn my cock, it twitches."All I think about all day is you. Kissing you, touching you, making love with you. And I can't do any of those things and I won't because I am not willing to sacrifice your life for my desires, even if they are the same as your. And then...I come to work and have to watch as everyone drools over you and _Shita_ -" 

I stop and pull my hands away. "Shita?" 

He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm not blind, Yu. I can see how he looks at you. How he's always looked at you." 

My cheeks spark hot. "I-I-"

"It's fine. I get it, trust me. You're hard not to fall in love with." 

I blush, viciously. 

"But...You have to know," I say, dragging both hands down his chest, over his mountainous, sculpted- _fuck, he's tone_. I take a breath. "You have to know I don't look at Ennoshita. I look at you, all day, whenever I can. I go to sleep thinking of you, I _touch_ myself to you and your hands," I say sliding my hands down until my finger toy with the hem of his jeans and again, he tosses his hands to the wall to keep from falling. I chuckle. "I could never love anybody else but you," I whisper, putting my head against his chest. 

His arms quickly come to wrap around me, his hug squishing me tight against him and I embrace it, the feeling so familiar and addictive that my blood sings beneath my skin. I take a deep, deep breath and inhale everything about him; the feel of his skin, the smell of his laundry detergent, his hair falling against my cheek. 

I feel him tense up. "Noya, I know I kept things from you. But please, if...something is happening involving my father I need you to tell me." 

I go still against him, my lips sealed. My voice refusing to reveal that how when his father followed me home the other night that I know it wasn't for the first time or the only time; that I think he follows me home every single night. Or about how I've been receiving letters in my mailbox about how the distance between us better stay how it is, or how I found a _dead bird_ in front of my _bedroom door_...

The things I haven't even told Shita about, I can't bare to tell Asahi. So I throw on a smile and pull away from him, caressing the side of his cheek with my knuckles. "I'm alright, Azume. I promise."

He stares at me for a second before his shoulders sag and we hug again.

"I love you," he whispers to me.

My heart beats quicker. "God, and I love you."

I lied to him.

But I'm not hurting him. 


	8. Chapter 8

I didn't have to wait long for Asahi's father to make a move.

With the festival in full swing now, there's no more space for people to invade between the packed walls of Crows. Tanaka's music is electrifying and everyone in the crowd is jumping and swaying and yelling, happy to hear the next song on his playlist while the line at the bar continues to increase. The more music Tanaka plays, the more people want drinks and no one was going to stop him from playing his music and pulling in cash.

Hinata bounces next to me as we stand against the wall watching while Kageyama watches from the window one of the popular bands performing in the square down the street.

"Even with a music festival happening literally feet away from them, these people would rather listen to Tanaka spin a record," yells Kageyama over the beat of the speakers.

"Oh, you know he's good, Tobio," yells back Hinata as he continues to dance and pant.

Kageyama looks back at his fiance and smiles, shaking his head. "You're his biggest fan, your opinion doesn't count!"

I laugh while Hinata stops and throws a pouted lip at Kageyama. "Rude!"

"Love you."

Hinata just sticks out his tongue.

"Where is Suga and Daichi?" I yell to Kageyama as he continues to keep an eye on the door at the band. His multitasking skills amaze me.

"Kitchen," he yells, not looking away. "People are still ordering food!"

My eyebrows lift. "Seriously," I yell back, instantly pushing away from the wall as I make my way to the kitchen. I sneak a glance over at Tsukki and Yama, who appear to be in their natural habitat behind the bar, shaking and pouring drinks faster than I can take my next breath. Yama catches my eye and I wink and wave before dipping behind the bar. Asahi grabs my arm and I smile. "I'm checking on the higher ups," I yell through a smile. He nods and shyly and quickly runs his knuckle down my cheek. The touch is enough to turn my body to ash as I whistle and hurry away before he can see me dessingrate.

Shita is in the kitchen when I arrive, busy at the stoves as is Daichi and Suga, the bakers cheeks covered in flour and cookie dough. The music is softer back here, blocked out by the heavy bricks and bulky machinery and I relish in the soft bump of the bass.

Suga looks my way and grunts. "Oh thank god, assistance!"

Daichi chuckles.

"Everything okay out there, Yuu?" asks Shita. Leave it to Shita to always see if I was alright.

"Yeah, it's you guys I wanted to check on. I thought the kitchen was closed!"

"Not this weekend, we're staying open until midnight," asks Daichi.

"So please tell me it's 11:59?" says Suga sighing.

I just shake my head. He grunts again and continues working his dough.

"Well, can you help me out and grab more flour from the back then? We just had four more pizza orders."

Shita gasps. "Wait, four?"

Daichi bursts out laughing.

I dare a giggle and he flips me the finger. "I'll be right back," I say, pushing off the wall and heading towards the alley towards the storage shed.

It's dark and I take way longer than usual to find the right key as I shuffle through the others on my chain. I know the feel and as soon as I find it, I slip it into the lock and throw open the door. I lift my foot to step into the shed right as I feel a hand pull hard at the back of my shirt. With a yelp, my body doesn't react in time and I slam hard onto my back as I'm tossed to the ground, the back of my head ringing as my skull connects to the concrete. MY vision swims and stars dance over my eyes as my body feels numb and my skin burns. The back of my head is pulsing and as much as I want to reach up and hold it, my limbs don't seem to move and it's only then do I realize that both of my arms are being stepped on, tiny pricks of metal digging into my arms.

The pain starts to affect me as I realize that spiked boots are pressed deep into both of my arms, my blood pooling beneath my limbs and I start panting, my vision still blurred and my head pounding.

"Was the bird not enough, Yuu," sings a voice over me and I freeze, the pain subsiding as a new fear sets in.

_Fuck._

Slowly, my eyes start to come back to me as now through my tears, I see as Asahi's father hangs over me, bent at the waist, his hands on his knees. He's wearing a dark suit, looking much nicer and more aware than what he appeared as a while back at the party. His hair is gelled and his teeth are whitened and it's terrifying as he peers down at me grinning something wicked. 

"I truly thought by now you all would have learned your lesson." 

I look to my left and my right two see two more men, each of them crossed armed, their feet pressing deeper into my skin and I yell as my arms bleed out faster, my lungs stretching as I holler into the alleyway. "Y-You picked a damn good night to single me out," I say as I stop screaming, a pathetic laugh slipping up under my words. "It's kind of pathetic actually." 

Their feet press deeper and I cry louder. 

"I'm not the one on the ground crying like a little _bitch_ ," he hisses back, his foot then swinging, lodging in between my ribs and blow out a large block of air, my body convulsing from the pain slithering up my side, into my neck, my face. I want to snap back at him, say something sarcastic but my voice is gone as all the pain suffocates me at once. Asahi's father bends lower. "I warned you, boy. What would happen if your hands even considered touching my son," he says, his breath like acid on my skin as I grit my teeth and growl. "But...it wasn't just your hands that touched him," he says, running his finger along my bottom lip and I shake beneath his touch. "Was it?" 

I smirk as quickly, I lean up and chomp down hard on his finger, my teeth tasting blood as he curses and pulls away, shaking his hand from the pain I know I caused. "Your son is always happy with what my mouth can do," I grit out, knowing it will be the last words I speak tonight. 

His father's face grows feral as he yells and kicks in my ribs again...and again and again and again...until blood spit up onto my lips, my cheeks. My eyes stare straight up as bold, painful cries fling from my throat, the pain brutal and unimaginable and then numb all at once until I feel something new...something awful as I suddenly can't breathe. 

My eyes bulge as I gasp for air, the pain in my side stabbing and....oh, god.

The two men holding down my arms take giant steps back. "Oh fuck," I hear one of them say through my panting, my body burning as air struggles to come through into my lungs.

"Run, now," is all I hear his father say before I hear the retreating footsteps, leaving me alone on the ground of the alleyway, gasping for air. 

I'm bleeding out, I can feel it. From my head, my arms and...maybe even my side. 

I'm freezing, I know, even as the only focus I have is trying to draw air into my lungs. 

But nothing works. 

_Oh god, am I going to die?_

I can't hear anything now as I continue to struggle to breathe, my attempts becoming weaker by the second. 

My vision blurs again...I'm losing too much blood...

_I'm going to die here-_

I hear the door behind me bust open before I hear someone curse. 

"YU!" 

I can't hear the voice clear enough to know who it is. 

"SUGA, CALL AN AMBULANCE, NOW! QUICK!"

But just in case- 

"I love you." 

"YU, STAY!"

Someone is slapping my face. 

"NO, stay awake, dammit!" 

"I-I l-ove you..." I struggle to spit out again. 

"OH GOD, NO," a new voice now.

This one I know. 

"S-Shita-" 

He's by my side in a second. "No, no, no, no! Damn it!" 

He's holding my hand, his hand brushing against my arm. 

"Shita..." I say slowly and I hear him gasp. 

"Yu, please. Please, look at me, Noya," he begs, and I can feel his tears hit my cheek. "Please, no..."

"D-Don't cry..." 

"Stop talking, Yu," he says, leaning his head closer to me as his hands cup my cheeks. His forehead comes to mine. "Don't leave me," he whispers.

"Noya, the ambulance is coming, try to stay awake!" 

I know the other voice now.

Daichi. 

" _Daichi_..." I whisper and I hear him curse. 

My vision blurs more. I can't see Shita anymore. 

_"I love...you all..."_

_"_ NO!" grits Shita, shaking me. "Do, don't say that..."

"Noya, don't you dare close your eyes," I hear Daichi plead as I see his figure peer over my body. "Jesus Christ, if I ever see that man again..."

Then...

"Yu..."

_Asahi..._

I know the second he touches my face that this may be the last time and so....

"I love you," I say as clear as my body and lungs allow. 

"No, baby, please," he beg through heavy tears. "Noya, I love you. I love you, I love you. Noya..." 

My eyes close but I can still hear them talking. 

Shita screams, so loud it could crack the earth in half and Daichi curse, calling again for Suga. 

Asahi is still touching me, I can feel it. 

I'm okay with everything. He's holding me.

I'm safe now. 

"I love you..." I manage to say one more time before my eyes wash over and I allow to pulled under my the dark. 

***

** THREE DAYS LATER **

I wake up in more pain than I've ever known in my life. 

Everything is pulsing; my side, my head, my arms, my face. I don't open my eyes, scare to what I might see after...

_Oh god._

It all comes back to me. Asahi's father, falling on my head, their boots in my arms, my ribs...

I take a deep breathe and regret it instantly as a pain shoots up my side down my arm and I whimper a bit, ashamed at the pathetic sound. 

" _Yu_ ," I hear at my side as finally, I peek out through my eyes at Shita by my bed. 

His eyes are red and swollen and his face is ashen and sucken deep. I wonder how long he's been awake...or how long I haven't been. He stands up quick and places both hands against my cheeks slamming his forehead against my own. He's crying and as I listen to him, a new pain constricts in my chest. 

"Don't cry..." I manage to spit out through the pain. 

He chuckles and holds my face harder. "Don't you ever scare me like that again. _Ever_." 

"I didn't really plan on it," I say, wincing from speaking to fast. 

He shushes me. "Stop talking so much, stupid," he laughs, leaning back up to look me in the eyes. 

He's watching me closely, washing over my entire body, the shine in his eyes small and cautious. His ebony hair dangles into his eyes as his tiny smile tries not to falter. "I'm alright, Shita," I whisper, which I find is much easier than speaking. 

"But you weren't. You were-" 

" _Noya_..." 

My eyes flash towards the door as I look to see Asahi, his hair hanging in messy stands and his shirt untucked and unbuttoned and my heart jolts, my breath catching in my throat.

In the corner of my eye, I see Shita close his eyes as he sighs and takes a step away from the bed and just in time too...

Asahi rushes over to my side and hesitates as his hands hover above my chest, his eyes looking up and down my body, my injuries. "I-I don't want to hurt you-"

I reach up as quick as the pain allows and snatch his hands within my own and I feel as he sucks in a breathe, trying to keep upright as his legs wobble beneath him. I drag his hands down and press his knuckles to my lips, kissing each one individually.

"Oh baby," I mumble.

Right then, he sinks to his knees, his height still towering enough to keep in my view as he breaks into a cry and leans his head gently on my chest. "I love you, God, I love you," he mumbles against me over and over as I run my finger through his beautiful, beautiful hair.  

"I know, I know..."

God, this man...the power he has against me. The things he does to my body, to my mind...

"I was...god, Yu, I was terrified..."

"Asahi," is all I can say as I lift my head a little, ignoring the excruciating pain, to kiss his head, his hands clutching onto my own tighter. "Did...did you-" 

"No," I hear Shita answer from behind us as he leans on the wall, looking at his feet. "Kageyama and Tsukki tried to find them but...they were gone." 

"It was him, wasn't it?" says Asahi softly, not lifting from my chest. 

I feel his body tense against me. I know how guilty he must feel and I hate it.

"Of course it was him," grits Shita and the tone in his voices causes both Asahi and I to look at him as he continues, "who the fuck else would it be..." 

"Shita," I say, a light plea to the word. 

"You did this," he says, looking dead at Asahi.

"W-What-"

"Don't play dumb anymore!" he yells and I flinch a little.

Never have I heard him yell like that...

To my surprise, I watch Asahi tense as he stands to his feet and turn to Shita. 

_Damn my injuries!_

"Both of you, stop it," I says, my voice raising. 

"You knew how dangerous your father was and how bad he wanted to hurt Noya. But you couldn't stay away!" 

"You think I wanted this?" Asahi calmly says back. 

"YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM ALONE!" 

"I have!" 

"BULLSHIT!" 

The door behind them opens as Kageyama, Suga and Daichi storm in. 

They must have been listening. 

"What the hell is going on?" yells Daichi as he looks between the three of us. 

"You knew. You knew your father was a psychopath. You had one rule, to just stay away from him and you couldn't because of your own selfish desires and now look at what's happened! He's in the damn hospital, you son of a bitch! Every since you got back, all you've done is hurt him! And now he's here!" 

"Shita stop!" I yell, wanting to move and jump between them. But Suga rushes to my bed as I try to get up, holding me down. 

"HE WASN'T BREATHING!" 

My blood stops cold. 

I...what...

Shita continues. "He...was dead. And if Daichi didn't find him..." Shita stops and looks over at me, his eyes soaked. My heart tightens. "You weren't breathing," he whispers. 

My lips part. 

"Shita."

He chuckles against a frown. "I'm in love with you," he whispers again and everyone in the room stills. 

Asahi's head snaps up to him as I watch his fists clench at his sides. 

Daichi slowly steps between Asahi and Ennoshita. "Okay, let's all just calm down-"

"Say it again," growls Asahi, rougher and meaner than I've ever heard him sound before. 

"I'll say it as many times as you wish because you don't fucking deserve him...he's here because of you-" 

But he doesn't finish before Asahi is swinging. 

"NO!" I yell out.

"Daichi!" cries Suga.

And when I look, Daichi is there, his hands coiled around Asahi's fist, which is only inches from Shita's jaw, as I watch Asahi's face soften and his cheeks drain of color. 

"Stop, big guy," whispers Daichi as he tries to calm him down. "Breathe." 

Shita is standing before him with wild eyes, shaking. 

My limbs feel numb. All of me is numb as my eyes dart between the two of them. 

When did it get this bad?

Finally, Asahi's eyes go to Shita, my friend taking a step back. "I'm...I'm so sorry, Shita," he whispers with shaky words as Daichi releases his fist. He drops his arms by his side, his head hung low and god, my heart shatters. 

"Baby," I whisper and I see Shita's head snap in my direction, his eyes filled with anguish...but I don't care. 

I reach out for Asahi...but he's too far. 

"Asahi, come to me, baby," I beg him. 

He doesn't move. 

"Shita's right," he says suddenly, his voice weak and low, and we all look his way. 

_Oh god._

"He's...right." 

_No._

"I don't deserve you." 

_No, please. Not again._

_"_ Asahi, don't do this..."

"You don't deserve this. You...you deserve him." 

"Asahi, stop! Stop, please. Come here, just come to me." 

He slowly turns my way and my god, my world cracks and falls away beneath me as his eyes, wet and bloodshot meet my own. "I love you. But this is over. We...I won't let you ever get hurt again."

"Asahi, wait," adds Kageyama from the corner. "Don't be rash."  

"I quit." 

My heart stops. 

"Asahi, we can figure this out," Daichi snaps. 

"No! No...not anymore. I'm done." His eyes don't break from my own. " _God_ , I love you, Noya." 

"Then don't leave me." 

He cries harder...and so do I . "I'm sorry." He looks again to Daichi. "I quit." 

Daichi shutters. 

Asahi looks to Shita. "You love him..."

Shita's eyes widen but he stays silent.

No one says a word. No one moves. 

He looks back at me and offers the world's weakest grin. "I will always love you." 

" _Please_ ," I beg again, my voice hoarse. "Please don't leave me. Not again..."

"Don't try to find me...don't come to the wedding. Please...stay away from me..." 

Then he turns and rushes from the room. 

Everyone is quiet. 

I break down, sobbing...screaming. 

I don't know when I stop crying but I know it's not until hours later...not until I feel the very last shard of my heart dissolve from my chest. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I went back and read a lot of my stories....  
> I am so damn sorry for all the typos. I type so fast and I am terrible at proofreading! UGH! So, I am so sorry for all the mistakes, that's annoying and I know it!  
> Anyways, thank you so much to everyone who leaves comments and for all of you who stalk all of my stories and leave amazing comments. You keep me going! <3
> 
> It's almost over, only one more chapter after this, I promise, it will end well!  
> Love yall!

 

**AFTER ASAHI LEFT THE HOSPITAL ROOM**

No one moves. 

No breathes or pants or dares to take a step after Asahi leaves the room and after I stop crying. 

Who knows how long I was crying for but it couldn't have been too long if no one dared to leave the room, to follow after him. 

After what to me feels like decades, I look up to see everyone else staring at me. 

Kageyama. 

Daichi. 

Suga.

And...Shita. 

We lock eyes. 

My blood stirs. 

"Noya..."

"Get out." 

Again, the room stills. 

"Suga, let's give them some space," Daichi offers in a whisper, reaching for his husband. 

"Noya, calm down," inserts Suga, ignoring Daichis plea. "You know this isn't Shita's fault..." 

"It's no one's fault..." adds Daichi again. 

"Why would you say that?" I say, my eyes still staring straight at Shita's. 

Shita swallows. "I had to." 

"No." 

"Yes! Look at you! Look! How...how can you not be mad at him!" 

"Because he didn't do this to me!" 

"But his father-"

"Yes, Shita, his father! His father is a terrible, terrible man....but no matter how you feel towards me, you know Asahi is not his father! And how dare you compare the two!" 

"Oh please, open your eyes-"

"Ennoshita!" barks Suga in his pure, motherly tone. 

"Look I understand you have feelings for me....and....I'm sorry, I'm sorry for kissing you a few weeks ago and I'm sorry for everything that you've had to go through but if it isn't bluntly clear by now, I don't know what else to do! I love _him_ , Shita. I love with him every fiber and cell and bone in my body and I will until I no longer walk this damn planet and I'm sorry. I'm sorry it wasn't you who I fell in love with, god, sometimes I wish it was but just like you...I didn't have a choice. It was always him. It will always be him. I love you because you're my best friend and I swear, that will never change," I pause as the tears form in both of our eyes, as Shita's face pales and as my voice falls raspy. "But I don't love you like I love him."

Suga and Daichi stand together, hands locked while looking down as Kageyama just stares between the two of us. 

Shita's head drops as does my heart as I watch his hands coil at his sides. "He will never deserve you...because no one does." He turns and stalks from the room, pausing at the door. "I'm sorry."

He hurries from the room before any of us can stop him. 

**A MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING**

Two months. That's how long Asahi has been gone. 

Two months since he quit Crows. 

Two months since I've been out of the hospital. 

Two months since he left me...again. 

My injuries were serious, far worse than I had originally thought as now, two months later, my ribs still make it almost impossible to breathe without causing me a significant amount of pain. The cuts on my arm all caused me together to have a total of fourteen stitches; one of revery spike, one for ever hole but those were all healed now. The bruising on my side is now yellow and ugly but even with all of that, the only pain I really care about is...

Two months.

He speaks to the other's, keeping them updated on wedding issues and Suga and Hinata keep me informed about where he is...if he's alright.

After that night, Asahi went to find his father, which he did, only to find him black out drunk sitting in Asahi's apartment where for almost an hour, he beat Asahi silly. I wanted to kill him when I found out. I could care less about what he did to me. He could do whatever he pleased to me but Asahi...my blood boils remembering the details Suga gave me. 

The black eye. The swollen lip. The gash his father inflicted on him with his pocket knife. 

I went to his apartment when I found out...but he had already moved out. And moved in with Annabelle. 

She also stays in contact with me. Calling to make sure I'm healing alright, which I think she does for Asahi...and I'm grateful. 

And Shita...

I look over at the counter where he stands cleaning, his headphones plugged into his ears and his lips forged into a frown; a new permanent add on to his demeanor. He's wearing a suit, just like everyone else in Crow's and as salty as I am, everyone looks stunning. 

Hinata and Kageyama are matching, ashy black suits, with purple shirts underneath and white ties. 

Suga and Tanaka wear black vests over dark red shirts, as Daichi sports a bright green shirt...same as what Asahi will wear on his wedding.

Tsukki, Shita and Yama where pink shirts beneath their suits with dark ties, long ones that Yama can't seem to tie right. 

 Me...I'm dressed in blue jeans and a sweatshirt...seeing as any outfit too tight suffocates my ribs. 

Also...I won't be going to the rehearsal. 

I lean on the broom as I watch all of them. Happy, smiling, besides a few like Suga who can feel the smoke rising off my body as I sit at the table and work on the books. 

It's Sundays. Crows is closed today. This is the day we usually all play volleyball but instead, it;s the day where all of my friends go to my ex's wedding rehearsal without me. 

I sigh and look back down at the books until I hear the chair across from me slide along the floor. 

I look up into Hinata's gorgeous eyes, chocolate and honey as he lean over on his hands. "I hate this." 

I smirk. "Me too." 

"I...I want you there."

"I want to be there." 

His eyebrows lift. "Really?" He can always tell when I'm lying. 

I just shake my head. "Not in the way that I should want to be there." 

He touches my arm. "I think that _is_ the way you should be there...I think it's the only way." 

I nod. 

"I hate this," he says again and I look at him again, his tiny lips tugged down. 

"Same." 

"I'm sorry," he whispers. 

"Don't be. This is no ones fault but..." I stop, too ashamed to say his name. 

"He'll get what's coming to him." 

I've never heard anything like that come from Hinata. "Let's hope." 

Again, he brushes his hand against my arm as Kageyama comes up behind him and squeezes his shoulders, leaning over to kiss his head. "We have to go," he mumbles into his fiancées hair. 

Hinata just hums and reaches for Kageyama's hand. He stands, still looking at me. "Don't be sad. We'll be back as soon as it's over." 

I nod and wave to them. Kageyama winks at me and I do the same. 

I look over at the door where Tanaka stands with his girlfriend, a young girl we used to know is highschool. as she's dressed in a gorgeous red dress and high, shiny heels. She still matches nowhere near his height and it's damn adorable to watch him lean to kiss her nose. 

Oh, how far he's come. 

Tsukki and Yama are talking besides them as Tsukki finishes tying Yama's tie, as he then grabs his boyfriend's face and kisses him deeply, slowly. I blush a bit watching them two together. They've always been passionate and it's beautiful. 

 I look over at Shita, who is talking with Suga while Daichi finishes buttoning his jacket. 

Shita's eyes fall to mine and we stay that way, his face hard, mine harder before I shake away and continue with the books. Everyone waves goodbye to me as I reach for my glass and take another large swallow of whiskey. 

Everyone leaves....but Shita. 

When I look back up he's standing across from me, arms crossed. 

I look up for a second, to only look back down. 

I'm not mad. I'm ashamed. 

"I'm happy...that you're going." 

"Suga's making me." 

I just nod. 

"I'm sorry," he says quickly, almost too quick for me to catch. 

I look up. "Why?" 

"I know...that this must be torture." I stay silent. "Trust me, I know it is." 

I know what he means and I cringe a bit. "I'm sorry for how I acted." 

He waves his hand. "That was two months ago." 

"It feels like yesterday. I yelled at you, Shita...I was awful." 

"You were honest. And I needed to hear it." 

"Not like that."

"Maybe not...but still." His eyes are watering. As are mine. "I miss you so much," he whispers, his hands falling from his chest.

I sigh. "I miss you." 

"I shouldn't...I was upset-"

"You do not have to explain." 

He looks towards the door, biting his lip. "They're all waiting."

"Go." he looks at me, lips parted. "Like I said, I'm happy that you're going. Go for me." 

"Noya-"

"It's okay. I'm okay." 

It's not a lie.

I am okay. 

Of course I'm hurting and of course I miss him...and want him and of course I'm angry but...

I understand. I understand why he's keeping his distance and why he's trying to keep the peace. I understand why he's doing what he's doing. I can no longer be mad at him looking at the situation he's in, that we're all in. I would be insane and conceited if I was. Everyday he goes through something I could never imagine. He deals with his father while playing pretend and longing for a life he feels he can't have. 

I can't be angry with him. 

I can only keep loving him. And I will. 

"I love you," he says and we both flinch a bit but I know instantly what he means and I smile. 

"I love you." 

His permanent frowns cracks a bit as his lips tugs up. 

"Now go. Say...hi for me." 

He grins again.

He turns from the table and walks out the door. 

They all wave to me again with sad faces. 

I go back to the books and prepare for the next month to pass. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...it's done.   
> Wow. This story was a ride for me to write and I wouldn't have finished it if it wasn't for you guys.   
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who comes back to read my stories and for all your wonderful comments and kudos.   
> I love you all so much. Ah. My heart. 
> 
> I hope you liked the ending.   
> Thank you for reading, always. <3

**FIVE DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING**

It's raining when he shows up at my door. 

My leather couch is glued tight to my thighs as I flip through Netflix, a bag of chips and a giant bowl of guacamole rested between my legs. I know I look like a mess, I am a mess because in a week from now, Asahi will be married. He'll be married and he'll leave to live in America with his wife and I'll be here...alone, in love with a man that I will never be able to have. In love with the only man I've ever loved and will ever wish to love. In love with my best friend in the entire world as he stands in front of the rest of my family and says I do to a woman who will never love him like I do. He and Annabelle will live a plain life, surviving solely on late night hookups and dirty hotel sex and never will they actually be in the relationships they want...

Before I realize it, a small tear falls and splashes onto my knee. I don't move to wipe it away. 

I close my eyes. 

I hear a knock at the door. 

Shita left his key again. 

I grunt, forced to move for the first time in almost three days and push off from the couch, my steps sliding as I walk to the door and toss it open. "Shita, I made you a spare key for your wallet for a-" 

I stop as he turns and looks at me, his hair soaked and clinging desperately to his cheeks, his clothes drenched and his eyes red. I grab hold of the door for support as m breath hitches and a small moan escapes my lips. 

His eyes wash over my face in a frantic rush, his lips pant and his chest heaving. 

No words, nothing comes from my mouth as we stand panting, string at each other. 

"Noya..."

My breathe catches again. Still no words. 

"Love me." 

My eyes widen. 

"Love me because I cannot stop loving you." 

Damn my watering eyes. 

"Love me because I will never...never be able to not love you." He stops as it starts to rain harder. My bare legs shiver from the cold as all I stand in is a giant t-shirt and I can feel the rain splashing on my toes. "I miss you. I miss you everyday. I miss seeing you at work. I miss kissing you in the alley. I miss _touching_ you and holding you and-"

"You broke up with me," I whisper and he stops instantly. "You left me, again-" 

"You have to understand why-"

"I do." 

His eyes widen. "I've...convinced my father to let us stay in Japan...after the wedding-"

"No." 

His face pales. "Noya-"

"No! That...would be complete and utter torture..." 

He moves a little closer and I feel sized up and unbelievably warmer. "But, if I'm here we can-" 

I step back as I interrupt him, "We can what, Asahi? Fuck in an alleyway so know one sees? Fuck in a love hotel and then, you'll leave in the morning before I wake up? No, I...I can't." 

Asahi's head drops. 

"I can't do that because I want more that, I will always want more than that. I want to wake up with you, baby." His head snaps up at my words as he gasps and pouts his lip. "I want to live together again and make shitty breakfast and learn to cook together. I want to go on dates again, like how we would go to the theatre once a week or a bar every Saturday and dance until our feet bled. I want to adopt a child." His eyes grow larger. "Like we always planned. I want to make decisions with you, I want to fight and then have mind numbing make up sex in a bed that we buy together...."

"Noya-" 

"I want a life with you."

"My father-" 

"And that's why I need you to go to America." 

He cries harder. "I can't leave you again..." I cry too. "I-I don't want to live like this."

My world crashes around me at the tone of his voice. "A-Asahi, what-"

"I couldn't do it though." 

My hands fly to cover my mouth as I look down at one of his arms, a thick white bandage wrapped around his wrist. "Oh my god..." 

He slowly looks up at me. "I thought...that if I just ended it...there wouldn't be a wedding, you know? He wouldn't...force her into this. Everyone would be happy. He wouldn't...you would be-"

Before I know what's happening, I leap towards him and toss my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against him harder than I ever have before. Asahi starts to pant under the kiss, his breathing wild and spattered and quick. I fold my hands around his skull, holding him to me, _so desperate._ I'm desperate to keep him close. His hand finally come around to scratch at my back, the size of his palms massive and thick and _fuck_ , I feel my skin smoke beneath his touch. Our kisses speed up as I jump and wrap my legs around his waist, clinging to him hopelessly as he walks us backwards, our lips still connected until my back slams hard into the wall.

I moan into his mouth, my tongue slipping between his wet, swollen lips, his tongue licking up and down my tongue, the root of my mouth and I whimper, my hands running everywhere they can touch. One of his hands slides up my spine and I shiver as that hand comes up to rest on the back of my head, his fingers meaty and hard as they wrap within my hair. His teeth graze my bottom lip as my tongue nips at the tops of my teeth, a face I know he loves and as he watches me, I can feel his cock jerk against my own and...I lose all sense of myself in that moment. 

Our cocks brush firm against each other and I rock my pelvis up, hungry for him...god, I didn't realize...

" _Mine._ " 

The word comes from nowhere and I'm even shocked myself as it tumbles from my lips in a low, animalistic growl. 

Asahi pulls back from me, his lips parted and red, his eyes hung low and his cheeks pink. "Say it again-"

"Mine, baby. You are mine. All mine-" 

He cuts me off with a snarl as his tongue slides back into my mouth, my tongue still as I allow him to devour me, eat me up from the inside out as I continue to buck up against him, my cock twitching and throbbing between my legs. There is so little separating us. So little stopping him from-

My thought is stopped as he then spins with me still in his arms, his tongue still working deep in my mouth as he storms through my apartment towards the couch. I feel his hand reach down as he knocks off the bowl of guacamole and chips onto the wood floor before he tosses me down onto the couch and I lift my arms above my head and arch my back; my legs weak and my teeth ground deep into my bottom lip. 

He hums. "Stunning. You're stunning," he whispers as he crawls on top of me, his chest rubbing over my own and I whimper, trying to hide my moans. He shakes his head." Don't you dare, let me hear you...please, _god_ , let me hear you," he says as suddenly, both of his hands take hold of my knees, separating my legs, my cock exposed to him, dripping and hard and he leans back his head and growls. "God, you're everything..." 

"Take me," I whisper, lifting from the couch as I toss my arms back around his neck rubbing my cock a little ways up his chest. I tilt my head and kiss at his neck until my teeth nipple hard at the nape of his neck and that's it. 

His arm slithers around my waist as he flips around, his back on the couch with me straddled on top of him and god, in this position I can fully feel the size of him again. He's huge and thick and hot and as I settle on top of him grinding and panting and whining, I almost come right then and there. 

But he's still clothed and I don't like it. I reach down and rip off his shirt as he lifts those giant, toned arms above his head. I toss the shirt to the floor as I then move to work on his belt, the motion so familiar and natural for me as I look up to meet his eyes, his lip locked between his teeth as he watches me. His hands comes up and take hold of my face, his thumbs rubbing small circles against my jaw. 

I finally get the belt finished as she moves out of his pants and his boxers, his hands quick to peal me free from my t-shirt and then we're both naked and never in my life have I ever felt so full. His skin on mine, his hands on my back, my legs coiled around his waist. God, how I missed this; being so unbelievable intimate woth him. Being with him, loving him. 

"I am so madly in love with you," I say as he slowly lifts up and plants a small kiss to my lips, one that says goodbye and I weep, small and close as I hold him to me, my hands tight on the back of his neck. "Now, fuck me, baby," whisper against his lips and that's all there is. 

Just me and Asahi and those words and he doesn't hesitate. 

With strong hands and with me still on top of him, one hands support my back as the other slides down my chest, down my abdomen until without no warning, his hand wraps firm around my cock and a moan so sudden and loud flies from my lungs. Asahi groans. "God yes, Noya. Moan for me..." he insists as he starts to work his callused hand up and down my dick, his movements perfect and rhythmic and I have to leash back my orgasm as his fingers slither up to tease my slit. 

" _Oh my god_ ," I breath as I lean my head back, his hand there within second to hold me steady. 

He then shifts beneath me and I don't watch as suddenly, his mouth envelopes around my cock and I throw out my hands to keep fro falling over, his mouth wet and slick around the head, come stringing from his lips as he works up and down my dick. " _Please_ , don't stop," I beg him, moving in and out of his mouth, my hips rocking. 

"Never," he growls around my dick and I shutter and quake and dissolve as his mouth moves quick and hard around my member. 

My hand then reaches down to stoke his own cock and I feel him tense and take a breath as my fingers slither up to play with the head of his dick, his favorite and I relish in the fact that he can barely concentrate on pleasuring me as I work my small hand up and over and around his pulsing cock. 

"Fuck," he moans as his mouth leaves my dick and his forehead rests against my stomach.

"Yeah, baby?" 

"I love you," he pants, his hands wrapping around to hold tight to my waist. "I love every part of you." 

My head falls back again as I continue to wrk him up and down, leaning my head down to flick my tongue over the slit of his dick.

He roars as his hands slid up my back. His lifts his head and kisses my stomach. "Make love with me, Noya."

I still and take my hands from his cock and run them through his hair. " _Forever._ " I say, tears forming in the corners of my eyes as I kiss the top of his head, the smell of honey and coconut strong. "Forever and always, my love."

Slowly, he holds me and flips me onto my back. He moves down a bit on th couch and plants small, sweet kisses up my thighs, closer and closer and...

_Oh fuck._

Again his mouth sucks at my dick until I feel his head drop lower...lower until his tongue brushes up against my opening. 

"Asa-" I gasp, my hands gripping at the arm of the couch. 

"Mine," he snarls as suddenly, I feel one his thick fingers slip inside of me, deeper and deeper moving in and out, slow fast. "Tell me if I hurt you..." 

"Don't stop." 

"Never, baby." 

He's true to his word. He pulls out his finger and _damnit_ , licks it, along with his second finger as he looks at me for permission. I nod and he kisses my knee before reaching down and sticking both fingers deep into my entrance. I gasp and throw back my head as his fingers wiggle and scissor inside of me. 

"You're so tight, Noya..." he purrs. 

He moves quicker as I watch his other hand stoke hard at his own cock and god, I love watching him. 

Quicker. Faster, harder and I claw at the sofa leashing back my orgasm. "Asahi, I-I can't...take me, please. _I need it_ -" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes,  _yes._ Fuck me, baby. Fuck me, please-" 

He slides up to kiss me, deep and hard and fast and wild. We kiss until our bodies can no longer stand it. He licks his palm and rubs it against my opening and I nod as we lock eyes. 

We always keep our eyes open at this part. 

We keep our locked as his cock presses against my opening until finally, he plunges into me and my mouth flies open as tears spring at my eyes. He pushes in, deep and slow and my lord, how my body holds to him as he slides into me. He's panting and gasping as his eyes roll back and finally, I feel as he reaches the spot, the spot that makes my mind turn to liquid and causes my toes to curl. 

"Are you alright," he says, running a hard down my cheek. 

I nibble on my lip and take a deep breath. 

"Noya-"

" _Move._ " I command, my gaze growing hard and he fucking loves it. "Move, Asahi and don't stop until I come." 

He snarls, something almost demonic as he doesn't wait and thank god he doesn't. 

His rocks his hips down hard and I scream, forgetting to care about how loud I am as he bucks in and out, rocking deep into me over ad over and over again, my cries growing louder with each jerk of his cock into my ass. My entire body is buzzing around him, humming and throbbing and pulsing as he fucks me, hard and sweet and passionate all at once. My nails dig deep into his back as I drag my hands down his spine and he curses into the air, moving faster and harder and I whimper a bit, his hands holding into my hair. 

"Yes, Noya-You feel...fuck, you're amazing-" 

"Asahi-" I moan. 

"Again," he pleads, looking to meet my gaze and I smile, in complete contentment. 

"My Asahi..."

"I love you," he rocks harder. "I am so in love with you, Noya." 

" _Forever_ ," I whine as I rock with him, his cock heavy on my chest as it pulses and twitches faster. 

"I'm- _Noya_ , I'm going to come..." 

"Yes," I say, my own orgasm bubbling. "Come for me, baby. Come for me!" 

He hollers into the air as his body tenses and his hips shake, which only makes my body respond all the same and as we both spill over, our orgasms wild and wet and heavy, we both collapse at the same moment as our climaxes come to an end. 

Asahi falls and lays on top of me, careful not to crush me under his weight, his large arms wrapping around to hold me tight and I sigh and kiss his shoulder. We're sweating and sticky and covered in each other and it's the most beautiful moment I've ever experienced. 

_This man, god, how I am captivated by this man._

He lifts up and looks me in the eyes. "My Noya," he sings, kissing my nose. "Forever and Always." 

We both know what those words mean. We will always feel this way...

This was a goodbye that we both now understood. 

"Forever and always," I repeat with tears in my eyes as I toss my arms around him and hug him until we fall asleep. 

We kiss until the next morning comes and we say goodbye in the rain on the steps of my apartment.

he kisses my hand. I kiss his lips. 

I watch him walk away. 

I say goodbye again to the love of my life. 

***

**ASAHI'S WEDDING DAY**

Everyone looks spectacular. 

We wait in Crows as we all sit together at a table and watch the clock. 

Everyone knows now, the circumstances.

And as we all sit with beers in our hands, my family all dressed in their best for Asahi's wedding...the tension in the room is suffocating. 

I try to slice through it. "You all look great." 

Everyone looks my way. Hinata's hand, which was already holding my own grips tighter. 

"This is bullshit," mumbles Tanaka from across the table as we lock eyes. 

"I don't want to go," says Tsukki and everyone looks to him in total shock. "What?"

"You're just always full of surprises," I say with a small smile.

"I may be cold but I'm not heartless. This is awful." Yama grabs his hand. 

"There has to be another way," adds Kageyama and Hinata looks his way and kisses his cheek. 

"You should just go." 

We all fall silent as we turn and look at Ennoshita. 

"What-" 

He doesn't let me finish before he slides back his chair and walks from the room. I twist and follow him as he walks across Crows and disappears in the back. All of us at the table share a look as he comes back into the room holding on of my best suits. 

"Shita-" 

"You should be there." 

Suga speaks up. "It's not safe."

Daichi nods. "I agree." 

"We're all going to be there," slips in Kageyama. "If...if he does try anything, which would be ridiculous seeing as we would be in a church full of witnesses...we could stop it. Like hell if I ever let that man touch you again, Noya." 

I smile as tears tease at the backs of my eyes. 

"I mean..." says Yama softly. "He's not wrong. I mean honestly, what's the worst that could happen. If anything, you could just slip out before it actually ends." 

I stare at all of them, lips parted. "Are we serious right now? After everything..." 

"He will not hurt you again."

We all look at Ennoshita.

"No he won't," answers Daichi. 

God, how am I so damn lucky?

Shita looks down at me and hands me the suit. "Get dressed." 

I stare at the suit, heart racing. 

"We're going to the wedding. 

***

Standing out side of the church feels surreal. 

There's a ton of people, more people than I will ever know in my lifetime and I swallow the fear rising in my throat. 

A feel a hand on my back and protective shadow over my shoulder as all the guys stand behind me. 

"Are you ready?" 

I look to Suga and nod. 

Daichi turns to everyone. "Keep and eye out for his father and no one leaves Noya alone, understand?" 

Everyone agrees. 

I take a deep breathe as we enter the church. 

***

We take our seats expect for Suga and Daichi, who have left to join the procession as best men. 

_I wonder if they told him that I'm here._

I swallow the knot in my throat.

Shita is next to me, holding my hand while Hinata sits on the other side. 

He squirms. "I have to pee." 

Kageyama groans. "Now? It's about to start, Shouyou!" 

"I-I'm nervous!" 

I giggle.

"Hurry," is all Kageyama says as Hinata jumps to his feet, squeezes my shoulder and then runs off. 

Tsukki snickers. "Your fiance is a mess."

"He's my mess." 

I smile and try to not focus on how un believable nervous I am. 

***

Annabelle looks beautiful. 

She walks down the isle and as she sees me, she falters. 

This was a bad idea and it hits me all at once.

"I should leave," I whisper and Shita leans over to look at me. 

Her eyes dart between me and the space behind her. Her eyes then turn to the front where I look and see Asahi staring at me with blank eyes and white face. 

"I should leave."

"No," Shita answers sternly.

Annabelle passes me. 

She walks down the isle as Asahi is not staring at her...but at me. 

My eyes water. His are too. 

I force myself to look away. 

Shita squeezes my hand. 

She's almost to the front when I hear the doors fly open and everyone in the room jumps. 

We all turn and face the door and what I see....

My heart halts in my chest. 

"No." 

Kageyama curses next to me as we all turn and look to see Asahi's father...holding Hinata by the collar of his shirt...with a gun pressed to his skull. 

Hinata is panting. Crying. 

Kageyama is too. 

I've never seen him so mad. He's red, blood red as he pushes past and moves to stand in the middle of the isle. 

"I'll kill you," he barks as he moves forward...

Asahi's father points the gun in his direction. "No, no no...lets stay put, shall we?" 

***

No one in the church moves. 

"HINATA!" Suga yells from the front where I see Daichi trying to hold him back. 

Asahi is rushing down the isle, Suga and Daichi in tow close behind as I step into the aisle, Shita begging me to stay where I am. 

"LET HIM GO!" screams Kageyama. 

"Tobio..." mumbles Hinata and my heart cracks. 

His fathers eyes are only focused on me. "You are a stubborn little bastard, I must say." 

"I'm right here. Leave Hinata out of this." 

"But we're having so much fun," he grins demonically. 

"Father, stop this. Now." 

His father looks quick to Asahi. "Shut your fucking mouth, boy." 

"Don't you speak to him like that," I snarl.

"Yes, there it is. That anger." 

"You're a monster," says Suga and Daichi instantly moves to stand in front of him. 

"Me?" His father says, pressing the gun harder against Hinata's head. Kageyama flinches. "You're the only monsters in this church. How dare you all even step foot in this-" 

A new voice joins the bunch. It's the pastor. "Enough of this-"

But he doesn't finish as Asahi's father points the gun in the air and fires. 

Everyone screams...

But no one louder than Kageyama as he reaches out for Hinata, who's sobbing in Asahi's fathers arms. 

The gun points at him. "I will kill you, fag." 

"Kill me then!"

"Kageyama, stop!" yells Tsukki. 

His father chuckles as he brings the gun back to Hinata. He whimpers. "I love you, Tobio."

Kageyama growls. "Let him go, please." 

Asahi's father smiles wider. "Yes, beg me, you filth." 

Annabelle's father walks over. "Stop this now, the cops have been called and-"

The gun fires as we watch the man falls hard onto his back. 

My eyes open. The stakes have changed. 

Annabelle screams as she runs to her father. A ringing sound in my ears as I look away from her father to Asahi's, who's eyes are on me, hard and black. 

I take a step through the loud buzzing in my ears. 

I can't hear anything. 

I know Shita is trying to hold me back. I know people are yelling at me, Asahi. Suga. Hinata. I can see their lips moving. 

But I hear nothing but the blood rushing in my ears. 

I stand in front of Kageyama. 

"Shoot me." 

The sound comes back. 

Everyone is screaming. 

"NOYA, STOP!" 

_Asahi._

_"_ Shoot me. _"_

His father laughs and tosses Hinata forward, my friend tumbling down as he's quickly caught by Kageyama as they sink to the ground, Hinata's body wrapped tight around his fiance. 

"You've had your fun and I'm right here. So end it." 

"Noya, please! STOP!" Shita is crying. 

Asahi is fighting against Daichi and Suga. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" 

I look over my shoulder at Asahi. "I love you."

He fights and screams harder. 

"Noya!" yells Tanaka. 

"I love all of you. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," I say, my eyes now back on Asahi's father. "I love you, Asahi." His father grits his teeth in disgust.

Asahi's father points the gun. 

I close my eyes. Everyone in the church is crying. 

Asahi's father sighs. "I've waited so long for this day-" 

A new gun shot goes off as I open my eyes and watch as Asahi's father's shirts stains a dark red. 

My lips part as a cry escapes my lips. I turn and look to see Shita standing with a gun in his hands, shaking. 

I'm shaking, everyone is silent. 

His father still stands. 

He still has the gun pointed as he take s sloppy step. He goes to fire the gun-

Shita takes another shot. 

This time, his father falls. 

Asahi is quiet. 

Everyone is still. 

His father stops moving. The cops comes in. 

I fall to my knees. 

Asahi is there within seconds, scooping me up into his arms, kissing me all over.

I can't move.  

Annabelle is crying. 

Hinata and Tobio are crying. 

Asahi is crying, everyone in the church is crying. I look back at Shita. He's not crying. He still has the gun pointed, his body shaking violently. I pull away from Asahi and go to Shita and take hold of his hands. 

"Let go, Shita," I whisper. 

He doesn't move, his eyes only slide to mine. 

_"Let go."_

He drops the gun and falls to his knees as I fall with him. 

He cries, hard. Loud. I hold him as he sobs. 

"It's over." I hear someone say behind us. I really don't know who and I really don't care. 

My eyes go to Asahi. He's crying, looking down at his father. 

_It's over._

But it's not better. 

***

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

There's too much to explain so let me give you the rundown. 

No one was arrested. 

Asahi's father's funeral was nothing more than a cremation and a farewell. 

Ennoshita went home to Tokyo where he's in rehab...recovering. I go to visit him in the hospital once a week, the boy who saved my life. My best friend. He's not okay and he won't be for awhile but he will be. He's strong. He's Shita. 

Annabelle went back to America after her father successfully healed where he is now recovering from his surgery. He was close to death but the cops arrived just in time and he's doing well. 

Crows is still in operation and it's busier than ever. 

Hinata was in therapy for almost two months. He and Kageyama eloped last month, no wedding, no service. They are on vacation in Thailand. They needed to get away. They write to us every week. 

Asahi...

Asahi grieves but it's not for his father. He grieves for everyone else. He grieves for me, for Annabelle and her father and Ennoshita. He grieves for everyone in the church.  He grieves for Hinata and Kageyama. 

We moved in together, he took Shita's spot. We make love. I love him. We're together. 

We're eloping. 

We stand on the steps of the courthouse. His hands are holding mine as tears water in my eyes. 

"I love you." 

"Say it again," I plea.

"I love you." 

"Are you ready?" asks the man who holds the bible. 

We nod. 

He performs the ceremony and within a few minutes, I am married to Asahi. 

We leave the courthouse with our plane tickets in our hands. 

He grabs my wrist before we climb into the cab. He makes me face him. "Forever and always." 

I stand on my toes and kiss him, passionately, deeply. Our second kiss as a married couple. 

"Mine." 

We get in the cab. 

Things are not over...but they are okay.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so just a little back story on Noya and Asahi's rleationship and some other dates!
> 
> This is five years in the future.  
> Everyone at this point is like....20-23, so everyone's older. 
> 
>  
> 
> Noya and Asahi started dating Asahi's third year of high school, so when he was 18 and Noya was 17.  
> They dated for five years so now: Asahi is 22 and Noya is 21.  
> They broke up six months ago when Asahi suddenly ended the relationship and moved to America for some strange reason.  
> The story is now happening five months from before Asahi's wedding happens. 
> 
> I just kinda wanted to clear up dates.  
> I hope you guys like the story! <3


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